Failure to Launch - failure to entertain
We Netflixed Failure to Launch the other day.
This is one of those chick-flicks that, despite my usual reluctance, I either rent or go the theatre to see for the benefit of Loretta. I realize it’s just not right to only see action/adventure/sci-fi/gore movies...afterall, I live with a woman! And she, Loretta, is so indulgent of me and my guy-flick ways.
First, Matthew McConnaghy can not act his way out of a paper bag. Whether it be light romantic comedy, action adventure, or serious drama...he’s just not believable. He continually appears to be looking in the mirror at himself and admiring what he sees. His attempts at making little faces, gestures, head cocks, and displaying so-called emotion is laughable. Yes...what a hunk! I always try to consider the hunkiness factor. And, yes, herein lies his appeal...to females. He’s damn cute. Maybe if he is cast in some sort of special effects, complete body and face makeup film (Planet of the Apes Revisited?), I could look past his narcissism and appreciate some acting skills...if indeed there are any...(remember Paul Giamatti in the remake of Planet of the Apes?).
I’ve always had somewhat of a crush on Sarah Jessica Parker...we used to watch Sex in the City every week. She is very attractive, intelligent, and appealing (in a neurotic girl-next-door way). But just like Jennifer Anniston...how many times can she pass that personna off in a movie? How many times can you fall back on three or four little facial quirks, a squealy giggle, and a pretty little set of slightly pendulous yah-bows (always a plus on a scrawny frame) ? I think that’s how you spell yah-bows. Beyond all that, she’s starting to look a little ragged guys (and gals). “I’m not ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille...don’t even think about it!” And yes, too skinny is not warm and fuzzy. I happen to prefer women built for comfort, not for speed...I digress. Now, I know we all get crows feet as well. But hers are more like condor feet now. Plus...and here is another one of my Seinfeld-esque rationalizations...she has freaking man-hands!!! Jessica’s bony, veined, and now liver-spotted hands need to remain in her pockets...or just out of the frame. Her grasping a guy's face during an impromptu kiss is the worst use of these mind-of-their-own appendages. They're just gross!
The movie itself is just not funny. That’s what it all comes down to as usual, despite all the hype from the writers and director about chemistry and a great script. I think the script and the premise was good. A story about a 35 year old guy...a hunky guy (not the usual geek) living at home with his mommy and daddy. Connaghy’s character, Tripp (his name another dumb choice in this flick), lives the dream bachelor life...driving a Porsche, playing with his two best friends (rock climbing, paintball, watching football, and playing video games), and dating very attractive women. All along, not revealing his homelife to any of them...until it’s time to break up (usually from the girl getting too serious, of course)...by bringing them to his “home”. Only at this time does he reveal to them that he indeed still lives with his parents...thus causing the poor, unsuspecting maven to dump him.
At the onset of this dumb attempt at a movie, Sarah Jessica Parker appears to randomly show up at a furniture store where Connaghy is. They strike up a conversation, initiated by her. She goads him into asking her out...he (and the audience at this point) not aware that his parents hired her to get him out of the house. Evidently there is a market for that sort of thing, similar to the story in Hitch. That’s what she does for a living. Apparently, paying a woman to do this is not considered prostitution since one of rules states she never has sex with a client...which, by the way, happens later in the movie...she still under the employ of his parents. So, yes...she is technically a prostitute...since his mother encourages her to “turn up the heat” in order to complete her contracted, pre-paid assignment...insinuating that sex may be needed when all else was failing.
Some fun and frolick ensues with the couple until he finds out her intentions...blah, blah, blah. Fast forward to the exciting and heartwarming climax...
By the way, a couple of high points in the movie...Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw as the parents. They are mildly entertaining as the distraught parents trying to figure out how to get the freeloading S.O.B. out of the house. Beyond that...the whole story is just a contrived, phoney mess masquerading as a romantic comedy.
Of course, the two principals end up together and, presumebly, live happily ever after...this, after the obligatory “reveal” of the intentions, an obligatory break up, and obligatory arranged get-back-together by the friends (replete with applause and romantic, lush Hollywood string music score). Again, all too predictable. And, with absolutely no on-screen chemistry between the guy and the girl (mostly because of Connaghy’s lack of sincerity and presence of any acting skills whatsoever). An empty shell of a flick...with good intentions. Another squirm in your seat movie experience...it's embarassing to watch.
Too bad, it could have been good. One of the sidekicks, (Justin Bartha, he was in National Treasure), is kind of funny at times...as is Sarah Jessica Parker’s roomate (Zooey Deschanel), who, by the way, is a total babe (playing a worse neurotic mess than Parker).
My advice? Don’t rent this. Don’t buy this. Don’t borrow this. Don’t bother watching this...it stinks. Rent Some Like It Hot and watch it (for the 50th time)...a much better use of 90 minutes of filmdom. Now that’s what a romantic comedy is all about. Hell...I’d even submit to watching When Harry Met Sally a dozen times in a row before I would sit in front of this contrived B.S again....even with Meg Ryan’s phoney mannerisms and feigned sincerity! She's another faux movie enginue in this genre that has already had her fifteen minutes of fame I suppose.
My advice to McConnaghy? Don't lose your hair, your "six pack, or your current agent...'cause it will be infomercials for you for sure!
BTW...we saw The Descent at the theatre today...actionadventuregoregalore...review forthcoming.
This is one of those chick-flicks that, despite my usual reluctance, I either rent or go the theatre to see for the benefit of Loretta. I realize it’s just not right to only see action/adventure/sci-fi/gore movies...afterall, I live with a woman! And she, Loretta, is so indulgent of me and my guy-flick ways.
First, Matthew McConnaghy can not act his way out of a paper bag. Whether it be light romantic comedy, action adventure, or serious drama...he’s just not believable. He continually appears to be looking in the mirror at himself and admiring what he sees. His attempts at making little faces, gestures, head cocks, and displaying so-called emotion is laughable. Yes...what a hunk! I always try to consider the hunkiness factor. And, yes, herein lies his appeal...to females. He’s damn cute. Maybe if he is cast in some sort of special effects, complete body and face makeup film (Planet of the Apes Revisited?), I could look past his narcissism and appreciate some acting skills...if indeed there are any...(remember Paul Giamatti in the remake of Planet of the Apes?).
I’ve always had somewhat of a crush on Sarah Jessica Parker...we used to watch Sex in the City every week. She is very attractive, intelligent, and appealing (in a neurotic girl-next-door way). But just like Jennifer Anniston...how many times can she pass that personna off in a movie? How many times can you fall back on three or four little facial quirks, a squealy giggle, and a pretty little set of slightly pendulous yah-bows (always a plus on a scrawny frame) ? I think that’s how you spell yah-bows. Beyond all that, she’s starting to look a little ragged guys (and gals). “I’m not ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille...don’t even think about it!” And yes, too skinny is not warm and fuzzy. I happen to prefer women built for comfort, not for speed...I digress. Now, I know we all get crows feet as well. But hers are more like condor feet now. Plus...and here is another one of my Seinfeld-esque rationalizations...she has freaking man-hands!!! Jessica’s bony, veined, and now liver-spotted hands need to remain in her pockets...or just out of the frame. Her grasping a guy's face during an impromptu kiss is the worst use of these mind-of-their-own appendages. They're just gross!
The movie itself is just not funny. That’s what it all comes down to as usual, despite all the hype from the writers and director about chemistry and a great script. I think the script and the premise was good. A story about a 35 year old guy...a hunky guy (not the usual geek) living at home with his mommy and daddy. Connaghy’s character, Tripp (his name another dumb choice in this flick), lives the dream bachelor life...driving a Porsche, playing with his two best friends (rock climbing, paintball, watching football, and playing video games), and dating very attractive women. All along, not revealing his homelife to any of them...until it’s time to break up (usually from the girl getting too serious, of course)...by bringing them to his “home”. Only at this time does he reveal to them that he indeed still lives with his parents...thus causing the poor, unsuspecting maven to dump him.
At the onset of this dumb attempt at a movie, Sarah Jessica Parker appears to randomly show up at a furniture store where Connaghy is. They strike up a conversation, initiated by her. She goads him into asking her out...he (and the audience at this point) not aware that his parents hired her to get him out of the house. Evidently there is a market for that sort of thing, similar to the story in Hitch. That’s what she does for a living. Apparently, paying a woman to do this is not considered prostitution since one of rules states she never has sex with a client...which, by the way, happens later in the movie...she still under the employ of his parents. So, yes...she is technically a prostitute...since his mother encourages her to “turn up the heat” in order to complete her contracted, pre-paid assignment...insinuating that sex may be needed when all else was failing.
Some fun and frolick ensues with the couple until he finds out her intentions...blah, blah, blah. Fast forward to the exciting and heartwarming climax...
By the way, a couple of high points in the movie...Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw as the parents. They are mildly entertaining as the distraught parents trying to figure out how to get the freeloading S.O.B. out of the house. Beyond that...the whole story is just a contrived, phoney mess masquerading as a romantic comedy.
Of course, the two principals end up together and, presumebly, live happily ever after...this, after the obligatory “reveal” of the intentions, an obligatory break up, and obligatory arranged get-back-together by the friends (replete with applause and romantic, lush Hollywood string music score). Again, all too predictable. And, with absolutely no on-screen chemistry between the guy and the girl (mostly because of Connaghy’s lack of sincerity and presence of any acting skills whatsoever). An empty shell of a flick...with good intentions. Another squirm in your seat movie experience...it's embarassing to watch.
Too bad, it could have been good. One of the sidekicks, (Justin Bartha, he was in National Treasure), is kind of funny at times...as is Sarah Jessica Parker’s roomate (Zooey Deschanel), who, by the way, is a total babe (playing a worse neurotic mess than Parker).
My advice? Don’t rent this. Don’t buy this. Don’t borrow this. Don’t bother watching this...it stinks. Rent Some Like It Hot and watch it (for the 50th time)...a much better use of 90 minutes of filmdom. Now that’s what a romantic comedy is all about. Hell...I’d even submit to watching When Harry Met Sally a dozen times in a row before I would sit in front of this contrived B.S again....even with Meg Ryan’s phoney mannerisms and feigned sincerity! She's another faux movie enginue in this genre that has already had her fifteen minutes of fame I suppose.
My advice to McConnaghy? Don't lose your hair, your "six pack, or your current agent...'cause it will be infomercials for you for sure!
BTW...we saw The Descent at the theatre today...actionadventuregoregalore...review forthcoming.
posted by James | 7:47 PM
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