common courtesy and manners resurface?
Could be.
A couple of my concerns with the so-called youth of today are grammar (verbal and prose) and manners... or total lack thereof. The bad grammar thing I must be careful with here...for yours truly doth transgress at times. More on that at a later date. In both cases, it is a function of education in general. The grammar: our school system is failing. The manners: the parents fell way short in this area. Here's my take on common courtesy and manners.
First, let me say this. Bad manners by the public at large is much, much too common today. Whether it be youngsters, foreigners, locals, Christians, heathens, store clerks, or the man on the street...where did common courtesy go? Please note...I have excluded oldsters in the generalization. Oldster being a person older than I (I'm 56). Of course, this is all relative. I'm quite sure I am considered an oldster by my kids (who are in their mid twenties). Senior citizens, for the most part, still practice and truly appreciate manners and courtesy from others. Again, a generalization, since I contiually run into crotchety old farts (and fartettes) who do not now (and may never do) find it necessary to acknowledge the presence of other people in their immediate vicinity. These people, unfortunately, are already dead and gone and don't know it anyway...moot point for now. Besides, this behavior is evident in folks of any age.
The other day while shopping in our local grocery store, I was quite impressed by a simple little passing. I was perusing the juice section. I turned around to look for Loretta (she tends to lag behind, and then gets a little upset with me for walking too fast). At this time, a group of three early-20s type guys were attempting to squeeze by me in the aisle. Please note: they consisted of three different ethnic groups and appeared to be friends. The tall blonde kid actually said to me in a very polite (not condescending) manner, "Excuse me" as he passed by! Wow! I was so impressed. Why was I impressed you may ask? Maybe because I have become such a grumpy, cynical old man...partly from years of enduring discourteous, uncaring, unsymapthetic people in the service industry...that this small moment of common courtesy brightened my day just a bit. To top it off...as I moved past them a few seconds later, I said, "Excuse me guys". The tall blonde kid said, "No problem". I had actually received an unsolicited splay of good manners, doled some back, and then received a response to my act of courtesy. That's it! That is what this is all about. This little scene happens all the time, mostly without the manners. For instance, how many times have you been standing at the video store (let's say Best Buy) looking for a movie? When someone disgusting, rude, smelly thing will move between you and the video rack without uttering a word. They will pass close enough to you that you will be able to discern details of their personal hygience. They will intrude into and through your personal comfort zone. If you're lucky, this neandrathal will continue moving by. Once in a while, they will actually stop in front of you and the videos and look at the same items that you are looking at! This where the the personal comfort zone buffer (and parameters for such) come into play, ie, the amount of space you must stake out to avoid such brazen intrusions. Another blog...another time for that.
You must understand something about me. I really make an attempt to be friendly, courteous, and pleasant to people in public. From my training in the service industry, I try to make eye contact with people. If the eye contact is reciprocated...I flash a modesto smile...and even an occassional, "Hello". These pleasantries are afforded to man or woman. It's not exclusive to attractive, well-groomed, middle-aged females...well, maybe just a little.
My point is this. Quite possibly if all of us make a blantant attempt to put these courtesies and manners into practice on a daily basis...they may rub off on someone. No, you can't change the world in a day. But maybe, just maybe, your little efforts may have a small, positive impact on some poor, unsuspecting, discourteous, ill-mannered slob. It just might (or is it, just may). My attempts to upgrade my grammar skills are not a secret. I just keep trying.
My next personal improvement project: getting pissed in traffic at really bad drivers. I know I can't retrain them...but I can stop swearing at them at the top of my lungs. The middle finger salute ended for me many years ago. A minor in-car, in-traffic incident involving a 357 magnum nipped that behavior in the bud!
Thanks for reading this.
A couple of my concerns with the so-called youth of today are grammar (verbal and prose) and manners... or total lack thereof. The bad grammar thing I must be careful with here...for yours truly doth transgress at times. More on that at a later date. In both cases, it is a function of education in general. The grammar: our school system is failing. The manners: the parents fell way short in this area. Here's my take on common courtesy and manners.
First, let me say this. Bad manners by the public at large is much, much too common today. Whether it be youngsters, foreigners, locals, Christians, heathens, store clerks, or the man on the street...where did common courtesy go? Please note...I have excluded oldsters in the generalization. Oldster being a person older than I (I'm 56). Of course, this is all relative. I'm quite sure I am considered an oldster by my kids (who are in their mid twenties). Senior citizens, for the most part, still practice and truly appreciate manners and courtesy from others. Again, a generalization, since I contiually run into crotchety old farts (and fartettes) who do not now (and may never do) find it necessary to acknowledge the presence of other people in their immediate vicinity. These people, unfortunately, are already dead and gone and don't know it anyway...moot point for now. Besides, this behavior is evident in folks of any age.
The other day while shopping in our local grocery store, I was quite impressed by a simple little passing. I was perusing the juice section. I turned around to look for Loretta (she tends to lag behind, and then gets a little upset with me for walking too fast). At this time, a group of three early-20s type guys were attempting to squeeze by me in the aisle. Please note: they consisted of three different ethnic groups and appeared to be friends. The tall blonde kid actually said to me in a very polite (not condescending) manner, "Excuse me" as he passed by! Wow! I was so impressed. Why was I impressed you may ask? Maybe because I have become such a grumpy, cynical old man...partly from years of enduring discourteous, uncaring, unsymapthetic people in the service industry...that this small moment of common courtesy brightened my day just a bit. To top it off...as I moved past them a few seconds later, I said, "Excuse me guys". The tall blonde kid said, "No problem". I had actually received an unsolicited splay of good manners, doled some back, and then received a response to my act of courtesy. That's it! That is what this is all about. This little scene happens all the time, mostly without the manners. For instance, how many times have you been standing at the video store (let's say Best Buy) looking for a movie? When someone disgusting, rude, smelly thing will move between you and the video rack without uttering a word. They will pass close enough to you that you will be able to discern details of their personal hygience. They will intrude into and through your personal comfort zone. If you're lucky, this neandrathal will continue moving by. Once in a while, they will actually stop in front of you and the videos and look at the same items that you are looking at! This where the the personal comfort zone buffer (and parameters for such) come into play, ie, the amount of space you must stake out to avoid such brazen intrusions. Another blog...another time for that.
You must understand something about me. I really make an attempt to be friendly, courteous, and pleasant to people in public. From my training in the service industry, I try to make eye contact with people. If the eye contact is reciprocated...I flash a modesto smile...and even an occassional, "Hello". These pleasantries are afforded to man or woman. It's not exclusive to attractive, well-groomed, middle-aged females...well, maybe just a little.
My point is this. Quite possibly if all of us make a blantant attempt to put these courtesies and manners into practice on a daily basis...they may rub off on someone. No, you can't change the world in a day. But maybe, just maybe, your little efforts may have a small, positive impact on some poor, unsuspecting, discourteous, ill-mannered slob. It just might (or is it, just may). My attempts to upgrade my grammar skills are not a secret. I just keep trying.
My next personal improvement project: getting pissed in traffic at really bad drivers. I know I can't retrain them...but I can stop swearing at them at the top of my lungs. The middle finger salute ended for me many years ago. A minor in-car, in-traffic incident involving a 357 magnum nipped that behavior in the bud!
Thanks for reading this.
posted by James | 8:51 AM
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