Johnny Depp -1, Pirates II - 0
'Nuff said? Not quite.
Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest was a clinker. Not that the whole movie was a clinker by no means. To coin a phrase: it had its moments...namely, scenes with Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Depp's comic timing and sense of humor are what carries the film. Beyond that, it is just another CG overkill cartoon.
Filled with over-the-top movie effects that overwhelm one's simple enjoyment of the "ride", ie, big screen, big sound, sequel anticipation, and butter-dripping popcorn with a 98 ounce Diet Pepsi...it just didn't do it for me (or most anyone else who saw it). The last time I dosed off during a big movie premier was during Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Granted that was after midnight...but we saw Pirates on a Monday afternoon! "What! What happened (as I was startled from a brief nap)? Did I miss anything?" It was just too long and too...too...cartoonish and goofy.
For instance...the new villain is Davey Jones (piloting the Flying Dutchman, the ancient ghost ship doomed to sail the Seven Seas in search of...well, I'm not sure). Jones, played by respected English actor Bill Nighy, is a half CG/half live action octopus man in charge of a crew of half CG/half live action fish/crab/urchin/barnacle men bent on...on, something...still not sure here either. The Jones characher has tentacles for hair and tentacles for a mustache. He smokes a pipe and blows the smoke out the octopus blowhole on the side of his face. Anyway...it all gets a bit tedious to watch after a while, especially for 2 1/2 hours. Yes, at least 2 1/2 hours (although it seemed like much longer).
Again, Johnny Depp's portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow ( a Depp self-admitted characture of Rolling Stone Keith Richards) is fun to watch and appears that Depp himself is having fun playing him. The others...Bloom, Knightly, etc? To coin a movie catch phrase: performances were phoned in!
Since this second installment of the movie version of the Disney E-Ticket ride was filmed back to back (and sometimes simultaneously) with Pirates 3...the audience was left holding their breath for the next one. Just like all the other movie trilogies, number 2 needs to leave them coming back for more. Spoiler coming in the next paragraph...
Captain Jack is eaten by Davey Jones' Kraken sea monster thing. Bloom, Knightly, and a few of the other Black Pearl crew members (the few left not eaten by the Kraken), go up some foggy Carribbean island river to visit the voodoo lady from the beginning of the movie. These scenes, by the way, are nicely reminiscent of the Disneyland ride at the start, ie, fireflies flitting around mangrove trees, spooky river huts, fog...well, you know. By the way, they really overdid the dog-with-jail-keys thing for good in this one. In the last scene at the voodoo lady's shack, she presents a challenge to the crew of the Black Pearl, which, by the way, was eaten as well by the Kraken: "What would you all do to bring Captain Jack Sparrow back? Would you sail to the ends of the Earth?" Of course, they all cheerfully agree. "Then you will need a captain", says the voodoo lady. At this point, boots are seen clomping down some stairs...to reveal Captain Barbossa (Jeffrey Rush) from the first movie. You know, the ghost guy from whom Captain Sparrow stole the Black Pearl? "Aaarrrrgh...indeed maties!" (or something to that affect). His monkey lets out a screech in closeup. Fade to black, then credits...Directed by Gore Verbinski...etc, etc.
Now...'nuff said?
All in all...what an incredible job of marketing. We really wanted to see this sequel to a so-so first offering! Geeze...I was really excited. And the silly thing is...after a more-than-so-so second offering...I really want to see the fucking third installment! Man, I hope Depp has some back-end on these. In spite of the wildly fantastic computer generated special effects, Johnny Depp still carried the film.
I assume the third one will come late next year. We'll be there...not opening night, but soon after.
Yes...Orlando Bloom is somewhat of a low-testosterone hunk...and Kiera Knightley is a cute, whiney English babe waif. Johnny Depp? Well, Depp is really akin to Charlie Chaplin. Despite his off-screen ecsentricity and laid back demeanor...I think he is a good actor. And did a great job with an outrageous character in Pirates of the Carribbean. I am looking forward to his eminent return in Pirates 3.
Maybe for the next one, I'll load up on caffein before the movie starts. Or...take a nap first!
Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest was a clinker. Not that the whole movie was a clinker by no means. To coin a phrase: it had its moments...namely, scenes with Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow.
Depp's comic timing and sense of humor are what carries the film. Beyond that, it is just another CG overkill cartoon.
Filled with over-the-top movie effects that overwhelm one's simple enjoyment of the "ride", ie, big screen, big sound, sequel anticipation, and butter-dripping popcorn with a 98 ounce Diet Pepsi...it just didn't do it for me (or most anyone else who saw it). The last time I dosed off during a big movie premier was during Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Granted that was after midnight...but we saw Pirates on a Monday afternoon! "What! What happened (as I was startled from a brief nap)? Did I miss anything?" It was just too long and too...too...cartoonish and goofy.
For instance...the new villain is Davey Jones (piloting the Flying Dutchman, the ancient ghost ship doomed to sail the Seven Seas in search of...well, I'm not sure). Jones, played by respected English actor Bill Nighy, is a half CG/half live action octopus man in charge of a crew of half CG/half live action fish/crab/urchin/barnacle men bent on...on, something...still not sure here either. The Jones characher has tentacles for hair and tentacles for a mustache. He smokes a pipe and blows the smoke out the octopus blowhole on the side of his face. Anyway...it all gets a bit tedious to watch after a while, especially for 2 1/2 hours. Yes, at least 2 1/2 hours (although it seemed like much longer).
Again, Johnny Depp's portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow ( a Depp self-admitted characture of Rolling Stone Keith Richards) is fun to watch and appears that Depp himself is having fun playing him. The others...Bloom, Knightly, etc? To coin a movie catch phrase: performances were phoned in!
Since this second installment of the movie version of the Disney E-Ticket ride was filmed back to back (and sometimes simultaneously) with Pirates 3...the audience was left holding their breath for the next one. Just like all the other movie trilogies, number 2 needs to leave them coming back for more. Spoiler coming in the next paragraph...
Captain Jack is eaten by Davey Jones' Kraken sea monster thing. Bloom, Knightly, and a few of the other Black Pearl crew members (the few left not eaten by the Kraken), go up some foggy Carribbean island river to visit the voodoo lady from the beginning of the movie. These scenes, by the way, are nicely reminiscent of the Disneyland ride at the start, ie, fireflies flitting around mangrove trees, spooky river huts, fog...well, you know. By the way, they really overdid the dog-with-jail-keys thing for good in this one. In the last scene at the voodoo lady's shack, she presents a challenge to the crew of the Black Pearl, which, by the way, was eaten as well by the Kraken: "What would you all do to bring Captain Jack Sparrow back? Would you sail to the ends of the Earth?" Of course, they all cheerfully agree. "Then you will need a captain", says the voodoo lady. At this point, boots are seen clomping down some stairs...to reveal Captain Barbossa (Jeffrey Rush) from the first movie. You know, the ghost guy from whom Captain Sparrow stole the Black Pearl? "Aaarrrrgh...indeed maties!" (or something to that affect). His monkey lets out a screech in closeup. Fade to black, then credits...Directed by Gore Verbinski...etc, etc.
Now...'nuff said?
All in all...what an incredible job of marketing. We really wanted to see this sequel to a so-so first offering! Geeze...I was really excited. And the silly thing is...after a more-than-so-so second offering...I really want to see the fucking third installment! Man, I hope Depp has some back-end on these. In spite of the wildly fantastic computer generated special effects, Johnny Depp still carried the film.
I assume the third one will come late next year. We'll be there...not opening night, but soon after.
Yes...Orlando Bloom is somewhat of a low-testosterone hunk...and Kiera Knightley is a cute, whiney English babe waif. Johnny Depp? Well, Depp is really akin to Charlie Chaplin. Despite his off-screen ecsentricity and laid back demeanor...I think he is a good actor. And did a great job with an outrageous character in Pirates of the Carribbean. I am looking forward to his eminent return in Pirates 3.
Maybe for the next one, I'll load up on caffein before the movie starts. Or...take a nap first!
posted by James | 8:14 PM
2 Comments:
You know, it's been confirmed that Keith Richards WILL indeed play Jack's father in #3 - how awesome is that?!
Yeah, the first one was way better. They just over-did the caricatures on this one.
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