The Devil Frogs From Hell

Every once in a while, Loretta comes home from work (Gottschalks) with a nick nack or two that she found on sale. Factor in her employee discount and other daily sale-type reductions and the monetary pain is not too bad. Usually these little gems are simple, unobtrusive decorative home things she scatters around the house and yard and never pose any fodder for discussion between herself and yours truly. But...yesterday she dragged home a couple of items that even she admitted, "Wow...what was I thinking?"

May I introduce to you, The Devil Frogs From Hell!


Yes, they are, to say the least, quite disturbing. Probably spawned from some Malaysian sweat shop, they are made of wicker and (what appears to be) old Yugo parts. Loretta and I agree, besides the weird-ass, bulging glass eyes suspended above their heads, it's the rusty metal tridents that put them into the demon genre. What the heck are the tridents for? Well...we hypothesized a series of possibilities, ripe with ideas for a Night Gallery script. Here's one scenario...

A housewife brings home these two grotesque figures from a garage sale she visited at a spooky house. Of course, the garage sale seller (a creepy old lady) offers up a little history about where the frogs came from...let's say Asia since Eastern Europe has been overused in supernatural storylines. "They are ancient Tibetan Guard Frogs...meant to keep bad karma from entering your home...", and so on. She goes on, "...but never, ever allow them to exist in a darkened area...they must have light...". At this point, the creepy garage sale lady is distracted by another customer and doesn't finish her story. Housewife drives home with the frogs sitting in the backseat.

Cut to the chase. The housewife and reluctant husband place the figures in their garden, lit by a couple of yard lights...late at night, the yard lights mysteriously (and conveniently) burn out. Strange sounds insue while the couple is sleeping. You know...tapping on the sliding glass doors, the pitter patter of little feet, splashing in the pool, etc. When the couple awakes in the morning, they find the frogs in another location in the yard, footprints in the dirt...blah, blah, blah. Eventually, the two possessed amphibians kill the family dog with their tridents, chase away the cat, and terrorize the home's human inhabitants. The ending? A slow dolly shot from the kitchen, into the family room showing the frogs sitting in barcaloungers, watching TV (Threes Company or something similar), eating popcorn, drinking beer, and laughing. The dolly shot continues to the window to the backyard revealing the couple (now reduced to frog size) standing in the garden with tridents in their hands and big glass eyes extending above their heads. The husband turns to the wife and says, "You and your fucking garage sales!"

What do you think?



We were going to return them and get our money back. But, they're just too bizarre and interesting. They now reside on top of our kitchen cupboards (with many of Loretta's other nick nack "finds"). Besides...I would be affraid that they might come back on their own!