Changing times
Every year about this time, I seem to go through a change. It isn't a permanent change, but a change of some sort.
Maybe because it is winter, maybe because it is cold outside. That cabin fever thing is real. I just feel a bit more funky than I normally do. I become more grumpy, more irritable, more retrospect for sure.
This time of year, just after Christmas, also happens to be the weeks leading up to my birthday. As a child, I always looked forward to my birthday. And as with most kids, the coming of it never disappointed me. My parents had a birthday party, I got a cake with candles and some neat presents. The people around me ogled and smiled at me and took pictures. Birthdays were wonderful, joy-filled moments in my life.
But when did it start to become a not-so-great event in my life? When did my birthday become a vehicle for depression, regret, or worry?
Like any pleasant event or milestone in ones life, such as a vacation, a birthday, or other planned escape, there is always one constant. That constant is you. The places may change. The people surrounding you may change. But one thing remains constant...it is you who will always be there.
After the hoopla, you will return to being "you"...no birthday, no nice vacation spot, back to your job...back to your life.
As I was looking at the picture of myself, a couple of thoughts came to mind. My birthday is tomorrow. I have been in a bit of a funk of late, no suprise. In this picture, I am standing in front of our house in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, in the snow. The year is 1951...I am almost one year old. The snow is coming down. A snow shovel is behind me on the sidewalk, undoubtedly just laid there by my father or mother for a moment or two in order to snap the photo. The child in the photo is content, not even worried that the sun isn't shining...that it is bitter cold...and that his birthday is just around the corner...his first birthday.
There really is no reason for my annual feelings-of-funk to arise. This year, tomorrow, my wife and some friends are taking me out to a local watering hole for some drinks and appetizers. Heck, my wife and I even have it planned as a "date". There will be no presents exchanged like when I was a child...no one can afford the "toys" I want now anyway! No big deal.
So...this is an open blog to my family and friends (and anyone else who tends to feel this way before their birthday). Thanks for putting up with my moods! I have officially extricated myself from the Land o' Funk. I am a very fortunate person. And as I stated in my New Years resolution list: I will appreciate the goods things more.
The times they are a changin'. But one thing doesn't change...remember that as you look in the mirror.
posted by James | 8:13 AM
2 Comments:
Happy Birthday. :)
Pre-Happy Birthday for tomorrow.
I understand what you are saying here… and I think it’s not necessarily about appreciating the good things more… I think for the most part you know what wonderful things/people you have in your life. I don’t think that’s what causes the funk. Winter is the end of harvest… before spring brings new life. And as we age one more year on that turning point… it, IMO seems just a bit darker… just a bit more sad and we ourselves are just a bit more scared. Winter tends to make people feel especially fragile.
Also- I think that in each phase of our life, we- ourselves do change- and it’s recognizing these changes and accepting them that give us a hard time.
As children, we learn that the world is too big for us to handle it.
As teens, we learn that we can kick the world and make it rotate.
As young adults, we play with the world and all its earthly glory.
The 30’s we learn we have the world in the palm of our hands.
The 40’s we examine the world carefully… questioning if we were holding it right.
The 50’s we slowly learn that this is the world we have and that we do not have the youth we once had to keep it in the palm of our hands.
The 60’s we put the world in our pocket, pulling it out from time to time to remember.
The 70’s we learn that the world is too big for us to handle… anymore.
It’s the acceptance of our own age… of the characteristics we’ve lost or gained by aging another year. I disagree with you on the one constant thing being yourself… I believe it is the very fact that we ourselves are changing that gives us a hard time; each time we look in the mirror... each time we age another year.
So- when you are looking at the wonderful things you have in your life, the wonderful people and experiences… the main thing you need to appreciate is that all those things are here because each year you worked a little harder for them, you became a little wiser, a little more experienced and you evolved.
“End Psychic Channeling of Dead Philosopher.“
Take Care-Robin
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