Four more years of winter?

Gobblers Knob, Phil
Originally uploaded by Skip Hansen.

Evidently Puxatauney Phil came out of his burrow on Gobblers Knob today, saw his shadow, and there will be six more weeks of winter. Actually, he was dragged screaming out of his hole by a bunch of old, deluded city elders hanging on to a tired tradition. I have a feeling its just an excuse to get together on this day with their flasks tucked inside their vests and get on television....then all head over to the local IHOP for the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Frooty special.

Other cities have their own mascot and indicators concerning the coming of spring...

Seattle...Seattle Sid, a salmon, was snagged by an off-season poacher. His Vanilla, fat-free, sugar-free latte was not waiting for him so there will be six more weeks of winter...

San Francisco...Frisco Freddie, a dungeous crab, was found dead in North Beach with a plastic six-pack holder wrapped around his claws, so...six more weeks of winter...

Los Angeles...Encino Cindy, a toy poodle, woke up to find her designer Iams bowl was frozen over...six more weeks of winter...

Las Vegas...Keno Ken, a tortoise, found out about the spread on the Super Bowl, and crawled back into his hole...six more weeks of winter...

Portland...Liberal Lizzie, a spotted owl, saw the shadow of a hunter who mistakenly blasted her thinking she was a turkey...six more weeks of winter...

Dallas...Harvey, a retired Holstein bull, saw the shadow of the golden arches, and went back into the barn pretending to be a cow...six more weeks of winter...

Hollywood...Miss Exotica, a transgender Jack Russel Terrier, saw the shadow of her thing, went back inside and called her plastic surgeon...six more weeks of winter

Washington DC...Government Gil, a Do-Do Bird, layed an egg with the words "Four more years!" etched in the shell...four more years of winter...