The Descent - it was decent, for its kind
Loretta and I saw The Descent the other day. Go see it if you like this sort of thing in general, ie, monster in a cave with six women ending with a gore fest. Don’t go see it if you are susceptible to claustrophobia. This review will be a quicky...so stay with me for a moment or two.
So, six (or was it seven?) early-thirty-something women start out on one of their extreme adventures...this time a descent into a hole in the ground located in a remote area of the Appalachin Mountains (sp?). Evidently, they, as a group, do these sort of things on a semi-regular basis.
The movie begins with them rubber-rafting a treacherous looking whitewater river in Scotland...for some reason, half of this group of friends is from that part of the world. On the way back to where they are staying, one of women gets in a terrible car accident...her husband was driving...their 7 year old daughter in the backseat. This scene, by the way, treats us to the first of much gratuitous blood and gore as the husband’s head is impailed by some copper pipe flying off the other car and through the windshield in the headon crash...cool so far! Our female heroin wakes up in the hospital, a little battered but still alive...finding out her daughter, as well as her hubby perished in the crash. The hubby’s demise (with the copper pipe sticking out of the back of his head) was obviious, the daughter’s demise revealed in the hospital.
Fast forward one year later. All the girls are meeting up once again for another extreme adventure, this time for some spelunking in the wilderness. The lead character (our car crash mom) must get back into the "fray", have some fun, and prove to herself that she still has what it takes following her personal tragedy...I think!
Here is the short take. They head down into the cave. They get lost. They find out that their leader friend lied to them about which cave they were going to...one that was never explored before! Ooooo! “I just thought it would be exciting to go somewhere where no one else had gone”, she explains. “We can even name it after you, Sarah...” Or whatever her name was. The other girls are pissed off at their friend's deception, but they trudge on, trying to find a way out. Shortly thereafter is when the body count begins....predictable since there were way too many cast members...time to start culling the less famous “friends”.
Yes...there are monsters in the cave. Apparently some sort of human tribe living underground...blind, albino types with no clothes. This, suprisingly enough, was the only nudity in this flick. I anticipated at least a topless shot from one of the girls, all of which were somewhat attractive. Afterall, that usually shows up somewhere in every R-rated splatter movie...right? None.
The bad guys (and gals...yes, there are female monster cave people as well) start attacking. Their actions at this point are akin to most zombie movies, ie, snarling, throbbering, drooling, tearing off pieces of the unfortunate girls, and...well, eating them. The cave monster people are pretty quick on their feet, climbing the walls and ceilings, running on their hands and feets at times. But soon, the girls find out that the pasty looking humanoids are kind of soft and mushy...a swift kick here and there sends blood splattering on the cave walls...followed by a stomp to the head...and they’re toast!
The girl’s numbers dwindle to four, then three, then two...I won’t spoil the end for you! The cave people’s numbers are, of course, endless....despite many of them being dispatched in a variety of gorey ways. The climbing picks worked well on several of them...in the head, in the eye, in the back, etc....it just seemed to piss the rest of them off.
So, on the Skipster Gore-o-Meter...a solid 7 out of 10. Was it scary? Yes, at times. There were plenty of jumping-out-of-the-shadows scenes...flashlight reveals...even the usual bats-flying-out-of-a-hole thing.
The last 20 minutes or so gets pretty intense, I gotta hand it to the director. Even I was gripping the seat arm. Lots of blood, lots of graphic gore, lots of revengeful splatterings...that is the type of flick The Descent strives to be. It is suspenseful and intensity-driven. Both Loretta and I found ourselves saying out loud, “Alright...that girl can kick some ass! Holy shit! Kill them suckers!” So, yes...The Descent was decent for this genre...better than The Cave (2005).
There will probably be a The Descent II. They will need a whole new cast though, ‘cept one. Whoops...I spoiled it for you...sorry!
So, six (or was it seven?) early-thirty-something women start out on one of their extreme adventures...this time a descent into a hole in the ground located in a remote area of the Appalachin Mountains (sp?). Evidently, they, as a group, do these sort of things on a semi-regular basis.
The movie begins with them rubber-rafting a treacherous looking whitewater river in Scotland...for some reason, half of this group of friends is from that part of the world. On the way back to where they are staying, one of women gets in a terrible car accident...her husband was driving...their 7 year old daughter in the backseat. This scene, by the way, treats us to the first of much gratuitous blood and gore as the husband’s head is impailed by some copper pipe flying off the other car and through the windshield in the headon crash...cool so far! Our female heroin wakes up in the hospital, a little battered but still alive...finding out her daughter, as well as her hubby perished in the crash. The hubby’s demise (with the copper pipe sticking out of the back of his head) was obviious, the daughter’s demise revealed in the hospital.
Fast forward one year later. All the girls are meeting up once again for another extreme adventure, this time for some spelunking in the wilderness. The lead character (our car crash mom) must get back into the "fray", have some fun, and prove to herself that she still has what it takes following her personal tragedy...I think!
Here is the short take. They head down into the cave. They get lost. They find out that their leader friend lied to them about which cave they were going to...one that was never explored before! Ooooo! “I just thought it would be exciting to go somewhere where no one else had gone”, she explains. “We can even name it after you, Sarah...” Or whatever her name was. The other girls are pissed off at their friend's deception, but they trudge on, trying to find a way out. Shortly thereafter is when the body count begins....predictable since there were way too many cast members...time to start culling the less famous “friends”.
Yes...there are monsters in the cave. Apparently some sort of human tribe living underground...blind, albino types with no clothes. This, suprisingly enough, was the only nudity in this flick. I anticipated at least a topless shot from one of the girls, all of which were somewhat attractive. Afterall, that usually shows up somewhere in every R-rated splatter movie...right? None.
The bad guys (and gals...yes, there are female monster cave people as well) start attacking. Their actions at this point are akin to most zombie movies, ie, snarling, throbbering, drooling, tearing off pieces of the unfortunate girls, and...well, eating them. The cave monster people are pretty quick on their feet, climbing the walls and ceilings, running on their hands and feets at times. But soon, the girls find out that the pasty looking humanoids are kind of soft and mushy...a swift kick here and there sends blood splattering on the cave walls...followed by a stomp to the head...and they’re toast!
The girl’s numbers dwindle to four, then three, then two...I won’t spoil the end for you! The cave people’s numbers are, of course, endless....despite many of them being dispatched in a variety of gorey ways. The climbing picks worked well on several of them...in the head, in the eye, in the back, etc....it just seemed to piss the rest of them off.
So, on the Skipster Gore-o-Meter...a solid 7 out of 10. Was it scary? Yes, at times. There were plenty of jumping-out-of-the-shadows scenes...flashlight reveals...even the usual bats-flying-out-of-a-hole thing.
The last 20 minutes or so gets pretty intense, I gotta hand it to the director. Even I was gripping the seat arm. Lots of blood, lots of graphic gore, lots of revengeful splatterings...that is the type of flick The Descent strives to be. It is suspenseful and intensity-driven. Both Loretta and I found ourselves saying out loud, “Alright...that girl can kick some ass! Holy shit! Kill them suckers!” So, yes...The Descent was decent for this genre...better than The Cave (2005).
There will probably be a The Descent II. They will need a whole new cast though, ‘cept one. Whoops...I spoiled it for you...sorry!
posted by James | 10:44 AM
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