Oh what the heck...I’m making New Years resolutions

Me: “What are your New Years resolutions?”
Them: “Oh, I don’t do that?”
Me: “Do what?”
Them: “Make New Years resolutions”.
Me: “Why not?”
Them: “I just don’t dammit! Stop invading my space. It’s none of anyone’s business but mine!”
Me (running away and shouting over my shoulder): “Sorry! I can recommend a good therapist if you’re interested. Crazy bastard!”.

Them is any number of people I have asked that question in the past 40 years or so. It seems most everyone you ask don’t make New Years resolutions. Or do they?

I think, more accurately, most people really don’t like to talk about their resolutions. I know there are resolutions being made...they're just not being talked about on a one-to-one basis. After all, there are those surveys we have already been seeing on the news and the morning talk shows. So they must be revealing them to someone, somewhere.

It probably has something to do with them not wanting to look silly later on in the new year. You know, when at least half of their New Year’s promises have gone up in smoke...poof! Like when you run into Sally in June and you don’t recognize her because she has gained so much weight since New Years. Or Dan, whose resolution was to get that big promotion at work...and he is now unemployed. Or maybe Rita. One of her resolutions was to give up sex, stop being so promiscuous, and start going to church...and you just saw her on the Maury Show waiting for the results of a paternity test from the UPS guy.

We are simply afraid to fail. If we don’t set goals or make resolutions, then we won’t set ourselves up for failure. New Years resolutions are simply stated goals...no more, no less. And January 1st is just a date on the calendar, albeit a well-known date that is perfect for realigning one’s life. A date to adjust those goals if needed, the ones you made last August or last January.

There is nothing wrong with that! There is nothing shameful about changing, adjusting, realigning, or customizing your life’s goals and plans. It is perfectly normal. And, it is not failing if you don’t realize every one of them to the level you expected.

My New Years resolutions are simple and basic: Lose weight, make more money, be a more loving and caring husband, father, son, and friend, and to stop slouching. That last one is very important for me. It will help with my self-esteem. Standing up straight(er) and walking proud can really do wonders for some of us...or cause people to think you are an arrogant asshole.

So when someone tells you, “I don’t make resolutions”...they are probably lying to you. Don’t take it personal, they are simply revealing their insecurity.

Me: “Resolve away with reckless abandon. Quantity is better than quality here. The more you resolve, the more chances you have for success! Take those leaps of faith and follow your heart. Free your spirit. Quit your job and do what you have only dreamed of. I know of what I speak fellow traveler!”
Them: (running away and shouting over their shoulder): “Who asked you anyway? Crazy bastard!”