Re-inventing one's self.
Last night Loretta and I decided to venture out into a Saturday night in public. For the most part, we're pretty much a stay-at-home couple, empty-nesters (except for the dogs) who really enjoy their home. We'll have folks over for dinner on occassion since I love to cook, but last night we thought it was time to actually go out for dinner.
So, we called our friends, Sue & Gene, and stopped by their house for a beer and a few Jeno's pizza rolls. Gene and I sat in his garage/TV lounge/sportsbar and talked "guy talk", Loretta and Sue in the house talking...yes, "girl talk". Half an hour later, we were on our way to "Mike's Roadhouse", a pleasant, family-oriented bar and grill in Modesto. The parking lot was pretty full. Afterall, it was 6:30 on a Saturday night so we knew there may be a wait to get in anywhere. One of things we like about Mike's (besides the usual bar and grill faire) is that they have a sign right next to the front door that says, "Parking here reserved for Harleys only." You can park your Harley right on their sidewalk next to the front door. We weren't riding that night by the way, no one else was either (it hasn't been above 40 degrees in Modesto for a few days).
We went inside. It was quite busy. There were 20 or so folks, families, couples, and a few winter-formal-kids dressed in their fancy clothes waiting to be seated. But, we lucked out. The host (also the owner, pretty sure his name is Mike) invited us to take the recently-vacated table in the bar if we wanted. Score! No waiting! Sue, Gene, Loretta, and I seated ourselves at a high, cabaret style table and settled in.
Mike's Roadhouse is a medium-size bar and grill. The bar is across one wall with several tables. Behind the bar, the counter and wall contains motorcycle decorations, signs, and other memorabilia. The dining room is on the other side of a planter type partition containing some booths and more cabaret tables. It was packed. We didn't mind, we got seated right away, and now we would chat and people-watch.
We perused the menu, talked about our selections, then the server/bartender came and took our drink order very quickly. Not less than a minute later, he brought our drinks, took our food order, and we were set. Loretta, Sue, and I have all been in the restaurant industry for a number of years, so this kind of service really stands out...one of the reasons that Mike's Roadhouse does a good business. Imagine that...good service...good food...good business! I will save my service industry rants for another time. I have to be judicious with those, I could run out of megabytes in no time! Anyway, our food came, we dove in, and all was well.
The restaruant was getting busier, a lot of people waiting in the lobby and a lot of those people were spilling into the bar. Standing next to our table, between our table and the one next to us, was a nice looking family of four: father, mother, teenage daughter, and their 10 year old son. The dad drinking a draught beer, mom had a glass of white zin or something, the daughter and son had sodas. Now, the son was right next to me. Because we were seated at a cabaret table, that put his face right at table level. At some point, he turned toward our table. That positioned his face not more than six inches from my bacon cheese burger and fries, at the same level! Normally, being the somewhat, claustrophoic, intolerant, curmudgeon that I am...I would normally have given the kid one of my patented dirty looks, rolled my eyes, and shaken my head. But, instead, I smiled at him and said, "Hey, how you doin'?" His eyes widened a bit and moved from the bacon cheese burger on my plate up to my eyes. His father said, "Son, back off a little." I then said to the boy, "No problem, don't worry about it...you want some of my fries while you're waiting?" The father cracked up and the boy backed away a little saying, 'No thank you." "Are you sure", I said, "I have ketchup and Ranch dressing if you like." "No, that's OK", he returned. The father and I exchanged smiles, we continued to eat and chat, and the family may have felt just a little more comfortable having to stand six inches from our table while waiting for theirs.
My point is: I never used to do things like that, ie, be friendly, turning around an uncomfortable situation. I would often bluster and shake my head muttering something like, "Do you believe these people, letting their son stare at my food not more than six inches away?" So, I think I am actually re-inventing myself...again. I think I am have started to become a more gracious person! Is that possible? There have been many more exchanges of late similar to that one, many of which have left me and the other person with a warmer feeling inside.
Long ago, I learned in the service industry that smiles begat smiles and so on. When I managed restaurants, I always made eye contact with everyone I passed on the floor and I at least flashed them a modest smile. I never really practiced that in public, away from the business...until now. You know, it really does work. You may not always receive a reciprocal reaction, but you will always feel better that you tried. My new self-employment venture has forced me to re-invent myself in several ways, one of those ways concerns how I can control what happens when interacting with other people. It will help bring me more business. But most importantly...it will help me feel better about myself. I am reasonably sure that that 10 year old kid will remember that a biker-looking old guy offered him some of his fries the other night!
I just need to remember one other thing when those exchanges happen: I should have handed the Dad one of my business cards. Damn it! "Are we learning anything yet?"
So, we called our friends, Sue & Gene, and stopped by their house for a beer and a few Jeno's pizza rolls. Gene and I sat in his garage/TV lounge/sportsbar and talked "guy talk", Loretta and Sue in the house talking...yes, "girl talk". Half an hour later, we were on our way to "Mike's Roadhouse", a pleasant, family-oriented bar and grill in Modesto. The parking lot was pretty full. Afterall, it was 6:30 on a Saturday night so we knew there may be a wait to get in anywhere. One of things we like about Mike's (besides the usual bar and grill faire) is that they have a sign right next to the front door that says, "Parking here reserved for Harleys only." You can park your Harley right on their sidewalk next to the front door. We weren't riding that night by the way, no one else was either (it hasn't been above 40 degrees in Modesto for a few days).
We went inside. It was quite busy. There were 20 or so folks, families, couples, and a few winter-formal-kids dressed in their fancy clothes waiting to be seated. But, we lucked out. The host (also the owner, pretty sure his name is Mike) invited us to take the recently-vacated table in the bar if we wanted. Score! No waiting! Sue, Gene, Loretta, and I seated ourselves at a high, cabaret style table and settled in.
Mike's Roadhouse is a medium-size bar and grill. The bar is across one wall with several tables. Behind the bar, the counter and wall contains motorcycle decorations, signs, and other memorabilia. The dining room is on the other side of a planter type partition containing some booths and more cabaret tables. It was packed. We didn't mind, we got seated right away, and now we would chat and people-watch.
We perused the menu, talked about our selections, then the server/bartender came and took our drink order very quickly. Not less than a minute later, he brought our drinks, took our food order, and we were set. Loretta, Sue, and I have all been in the restaurant industry for a number of years, so this kind of service really stands out...one of the reasons that Mike's Roadhouse does a good business. Imagine that...good service...good food...good business! I will save my service industry rants for another time. I have to be judicious with those, I could run out of megabytes in no time! Anyway, our food came, we dove in, and all was well.
The restaruant was getting busier, a lot of people waiting in the lobby and a lot of those people were spilling into the bar. Standing next to our table, between our table and the one next to us, was a nice looking family of four: father, mother, teenage daughter, and their 10 year old son. The dad drinking a draught beer, mom had a glass of white zin or something, the daughter and son had sodas. Now, the son was right next to me. Because we were seated at a cabaret table, that put his face right at table level. At some point, he turned toward our table. That positioned his face not more than six inches from my bacon cheese burger and fries, at the same level! Normally, being the somewhat, claustrophoic, intolerant, curmudgeon that I am...I would normally have given the kid one of my patented dirty looks, rolled my eyes, and shaken my head. But, instead, I smiled at him and said, "Hey, how you doin'?" His eyes widened a bit and moved from the bacon cheese burger on my plate up to my eyes. His father said, "Son, back off a little." I then said to the boy, "No problem, don't worry about it...you want some of my fries while you're waiting?" The father cracked up and the boy backed away a little saying, 'No thank you." "Are you sure", I said, "I have ketchup and Ranch dressing if you like." "No, that's OK", he returned. The father and I exchanged smiles, we continued to eat and chat, and the family may have felt just a little more comfortable having to stand six inches from our table while waiting for theirs.
My point is: I never used to do things like that, ie, be friendly, turning around an uncomfortable situation. I would often bluster and shake my head muttering something like, "Do you believe these people, letting their son stare at my food not more than six inches away?" So, I think I am actually re-inventing myself...again. I think I am have started to become a more gracious person! Is that possible? There have been many more exchanges of late similar to that one, many of which have left me and the other person with a warmer feeling inside.
Long ago, I learned in the service industry that smiles begat smiles and so on. When I managed restaurants, I always made eye contact with everyone I passed on the floor and I at least flashed them a modest smile. I never really practiced that in public, away from the business...until now. You know, it really does work. You may not always receive a reciprocal reaction, but you will always feel better that you tried. My new self-employment venture has forced me to re-invent myself in several ways, one of those ways concerns how I can control what happens when interacting with other people. It will help bring me more business. But most importantly...it will help me feel better about myself. I am reasonably sure that that 10 year old kid will remember that a biker-looking old guy offered him some of his fries the other night!
I just need to remember one other thing when those exchanges happen: I should have handed the Dad one of my business cards. Damn it! "Are we learning anything yet?"
posted by James | 5:26 AM
1 Comments:
Great writing! I just found you on Blog Clicker. I've hesitated joining because I already spend so much time on Blog Explosion. I hate to sound all sappy but, regarding this post, think about how being funny rather than mean changed things down the line. Kindness has a way of creating more kindness and I bet the dad passed it on. If you had been nasty, he would have probably passed that on instead.
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