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Monday, January 01, 2007

New Years Eve...and now, Day

(11:27 am)...Third down and five...Wisconsin on their own 37...he pumps, he fakes....wait...first this news bulletin...Marie Osmond has gotten fat!

The Rose Parade is over. I have no interest in college football, but I just may tune into the Rose Bowl Game...USC and Michigan (I think), so as not look like a wuss next week. We just packed away the lifelike Costco Xmas tree for another year...the one the with 1500 Italian twinkly lights. Loretta is vacuuming up the pine tree needles (yes, apparently even fake trees shed!).

Earlier, I cooked us each a 1/2 order of Eggs Benedict and homefries...then actually cleaned up the kitchen myself. We plan to “snack it” the rest of the day...cheese and crackers, celery and peanut butter, maybe a Prime Rib sandwich this afternoon (leftover from our homemade New Years Eve dinner).

Back to the Rose Parade. The highlights and lowlights. We didn’t see the whole thing in one shot. But it’s being broadcast over and over on various cable stations, including my favorite version: The KTLA Bob Eubanks edition, co-hosted by an unrecognizable named news babe out of La-La-Land. The highlight? The flyby of a B-1 Bomber flanked by a couple of F-22 Raptors, afterburners blazing just above Colorado Boulevard on their way back to Edwards Air Force Base. The lowlight? Some sort of giant butterfly-laden float with Marie Osmond perched and waving from the inside of a flower. Honestly, they should have just attached a hitch to her ass, put roller skates on her, and towed her down that Pasadena thoroughfare. Wow! The cherubic face and signature Osmond dental work is still descernable...but man...what a chubber! I didn’t watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade...but was she in it...floating down 34th street...tethered down with ropes held by 100 boy scouts? He’s a little bit Rock and Roll...she’s a little bit Country Biscuits and Sausage Gravy!

The weather here in the Central Valley is the nicest it has been in a few weeks...sunny, mild, with a few high clouds. I just remembered that Loretta and I talked about going for a ride in the ‘69 Porsche 912. Before we go, Loretta is going to light a few prayer candles, do a few incantations, and hope that we can get back home after the drive. It’s always an adventure taking out the 912...fun to drive, but there is anxiety concerning our odds of getting it started again.

We did stay home last night as planned...cooking a small Prime Rib with a Romaine heart salad and my own special Bleu Cheese Dressing. Loretta had a Pina Colada, I had a couple of Cuba LIbras. We watched Las Vegas Vacation, then Hostel. Yes, Hostel...Loretta wanted to watch a scary movie. Hostel is not as scary as it is gruesome...but fun to watch anyway. We hit the sack about 11:30 to watch the ball drop from the safety of our bed covers. It’s just too scary out there on New Years Eve. BTW...Dick Clark...what a trooper!

From my part time bartending days of long ago, I recall this evening as being referred to as: Amateur Night. Amateur Night in the bar business simply means all the amateur, once-a-year drinkers are out in force. For the most part, these fledgling embibers have no idea of what to drink, how much to drink, or how to act. Here was a typical exchange from one of those New Years Eves...

Me: "What'll ya' have miss?"
Miss: "Well, what is that greenish kinda drink that tastes like anise you make in a blender?"
Me: (rolling my eyes) "It's a Grasshopper miss...a Grasshopper".
Miss: "Oh...I don't want that. What is HE having?" (gesturing toward the oily beau-hunk with an open shirt, three medallions, and lots of chest hair at the end of the bar).
Me: "He's drinking boiler makers...shots and beers."
Miss: "Oooooh...I want that!"
(20 minutes later)
Me: "I’ll flip ya' to see who gets to clean up all that vomit".
Other bartender: "But she's laying in it...face down".
Me: "Yea...but her tits fell out when she barfed".
Other bartender: "Sweet! I'll do it."
Oily beau-hunk: "Buy her another shot and a beer on me".
Me: "Sweet".

Fun, huh?

Well, Happy New Year. May 2007 be fulfilling, prosperous, and safe.

Good chance that Marie Osmond will score a Nutri-System contract.

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