You bet your life...he was funny.

Groucho Marx. There are many more classic Marx lines, but here are just a few...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I have nothing but respect for you, and not much of that.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Whatever it is I'm against it.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

And one of my favorite Groucho retorts:

High society lady (in a huff): "I've never been so insulted!"

Groucho (looking at his watch): "Well...it's still early".

Compared to those days...it's amazing what the networks try to pass off as comedy these days.