Mark Your Calendars

Sammy, the rare Zebrahound
Originally uploaded by Skip Hansen.

Coming the end of February: The West Coast Greyhound Gathering in the quaint little Danish town of Solvang.

Not only do I live with a rescued retired racer, I am of Danish decent. So...gotta go!

We will be there with Sammy along with about 500 other greys from around the western U.S.

If you have ever thought about adopting/rescuing a greyhound, this would be the place to be for an "up close and personal" introduction to the breed.

One of the interesting things about greys is that they are supposedly one of the only breeds that recognize their own kind. They are the most ancient breed. The pharoahs owned greyhounds and were entombed along with their dogs (sometimes owning large packs of 100 or more). When a greyhound gave birth to a litter the event was celebrated as enthusiastically as the birth of a pharoahs' son.

When they get together today, they are a very mellow group. They mill around (on a leash of course) and don't seem very concerned that there are other dogs closeby. For the most part, they always stand...greyhounds rarely sit...ever...even at home. It is just not a comfortable position for their structure. They will lay down however, I think that is truly their favorite pose. For feeding time, their bowls must be elevated to afford them easy access...it is a long way to the floor.

As far as the running goes...they are, afterall, retired. Sometimes the preception is that a bunch of grehounds getting together means large, lanky, hyper dogs tearing ass around. That is far from the case. There won't be any mechanical rabbits in attendance and I am pretty sure there won't be any wagering going on (except at the Chumash Indian Casino a few miles up the road).

Hope to see you there. If you would like any more information about the event just click on the link above. If you would like any more information about adoption, there are links to your area's adoption groups on our site...Amazing Greys Retired Racers.

Are You a Bitch?

I don't often create posts soley for the purpose of soliciting comments, but I am curious about what people (especially women) think about that word: bitch.

Has it become so commonplace in today's vernacular that the connotation of this word is now accepted synonmously with the word: woman? Here is why I am questioning it today. The dictionanary says as a noun it is "a female dog"...as a verb it is "to complain". Traditionally, it has also come to mean, as a noun, a degrogatory and submissive reference toward a woman (or a guy for that matter), and so on. Correct? Last night Loretta and I went out to dinner at Chili's. It was very crowded, there was a wait for tables...except in the bar area. We sat ourselves in a booth by the bar. A few feet away were a couple of young guys, pretty typical looking student, barely-twenty one types. We could hear them talking about this and that, nothing too provocative. After about half an hour, three or four others joined them. At this point, they began using that word rather gratuitously. Keep in mind that at 7:00 pm, even the bar tables were filled with all types of people, including kids and families. Some of the conversation went like this, "I've been seeing this bitch from school...she's pretty hot, but kind of out there..." "Hey, me and Billy Bob are having a get-together tomorrow night at my place...were inviting a bunch of bitches over, should be fun...wanna come?"

Now...in my day, we would have asked the question, "Hey, why would you and Billy Bob want to invite over a bunch of bitches? How about inviting over a bunch of, well...nice, hot chicks?"

My point is this...do you accept this kind of referrence? And, are women attracted to guys who use this referrence? I realize it can be construed as "guy talk"...but in a public place? I realize it may be part of our "culture" now. And, yes...I made a motion to go over and say something (politely of course), but Loretta stopped me, "They're just guys...leave 'em alone". She kind of defended them! Or quite possibly didn't want me to go over and kick their asses (or more importantly... vice versa).

It was time to go, I opted to not have another drink (the right thing to do at that point), and we left.

I guess I am just showing my age again. I was raised in a different era. I even got suspened for three days from high school for calling a girl a bitch at an afterschool dance. Suspended for three days! Today, it seems like that word could be substituted for "maam" or "girl", ie, "Hey, bitch...do you have the new "Green Day" CD in stock?"

I'll admit, I have uttered that word many times. I am a very bad boy! But it was always used in some sort of derogatory statement about a former boss, someone cutting me off in traffic, or a girl who wouldn't dance with me in high school. I am truly sorry. But is it alright to use it in today's society as a casual referrence for the female gender...that is my question?

One more thing or two. The word "chick" used to evoke the same reaction 20 years ago. So, I suppose I am as guilty as those turd-pots in the bar for disrespect. But...I am trying to be better!

I just think women should say something more often when they hear that "B" word. Walk up to the shit-bird and say, "Excuse me, bitch, but what did you say? You weren't referring to a woman, were you...bitch?"

Just curious.

P.S. I don't even want get into the use of the word "whore"...don't get me started!

There went the sun...

Coleus, morning sun 3
Originally uploaded by Skip Hansen.

The sun came and went within an hour today in Modesto.

Got some decent pics though.

Try again this afternoon when the fog blows away.

Here comes the sun...

Queen palm, morning sun 1
Originally uploaded by Skip Hansen.

I took this picture Saturday morning. It is one of our queen palms in front of our home.

I anticpated actually seeing the sun this morning, so I wanted to snap a few pics.

It began steaming in all of our east-facing windows about 6:30 am...I was in a photo-taking-frenzy for about an hour.

We live in the San Joaquin Valley of California. In fact, I have lived in California for most of my life. I never thought that seeing the sun would be such a novelty, especially in the Valley where it is quite sunny and hot for most of the spring and summer.

I fully expect to find myself mildly complaining about the hot sun and the incessant heat by about June. Watch for the shade photos then.

By the way...at 8:22 am, it was overcast again.

Writing Friday - The Road Trip

A Child’s Perception of Distance

The little boy knew that this particular trip would be a long one. His mother and father had been planning it for a long time. It was a vacation back to where most everyone in the family was born...South Dakota. It would take three long days of driving across the country from California to get there.

He and his two little sisters shared the back seat of the station wagon, as well as the “way back” section for naps. The “wayback” was behind the back seat, mostly filled with luggage on a trip like this. At nine years old, he could still curl up beside the suitcases and sleep.

Route 66 stretched out across the desert in front of them, endless miles of two-lane highway back then. Sometimes it divided into two lanes each way. The billboard would say, “Your tax dollars at work. Route 66 Improvement Project 175.. To be completed in 1961”

They would drive until sunset, then start looking for a motel. The roads in those days still passed through the towns. Not like today, the giant interstates located several miles outside of the towns. The kids would start looking and pointing and suggesting, “There, Dad...there’s a good one! Let’s stay there”. The father would mumble something under his breath and tell the children to “pipe down”, then keep driving, looking for a motel with a “Vacancy” sign.

The little boy just hoped the motel had a swimming pool. It was summer, it had been a long hot drive through the desert. He loved to swim.

The motels lined the highway in the New Mexico town. They were only one-story then, layed out in a U-shape with the swimming pool in the middle of the parking lot.

They found a suitable one, a motel with a “Vacancy” sign and a swimming pool. The family stayed there for the night. Before going to bed, the little boy’s father went out to bring back dinner, usually hamburgers and fries and cokes. The children went swimming for a while until dinner returned.

The next morning, they got up early, and went to breakfast at a local cafe. It wasn’t a fancy place, just a roadside diner. The pancakes the little boy had weren’t very good, not at all like his Mom would make at home. They were kind of cold and kind of stiff, the syrup didn’t taste the same either.

The little boy, his two sisters, mother, and father all piled back in the station wagon and continued their long trip to South Dakota. They would try to drive 500 miles today.

The next evening, as the sun began to lay low over the Nebraska prairie, they started to look for that night’s lodging once again. From the back seat, the little boy tapped his mother on the shoulder and said, “Mom...where ever we stay tonight, let’s not eat breakfast in the same cafe we did yesterday...their pancakes were yucky!”

Joining the Top 100 Bandwagon...100 things About Me

100. Jack Diddley is not my real name.
99. Skip is not my real name.
98. I have been known on radio as Jonathan Hanley, Dr. J. Michael Klembottom, Steve Elliot, and Madame Julia.
97. I have gotten intoxicated on the radio for a drunk driving police demonstration (several times).
96. I was sent to Viet Nam in the early seventies.
96. I was also sent to Thailand, Japan, Phillipines, Taiwan and many other places while in the service.
95. I watched an “Egg Baseball” demonstration at a sex resort in Taiwan.
94. My 11th grade counselor talked me out of my dream occupation in 1966.
93. I am now working toward making a living at my dream occupation.
92. My 11th grade counselor is dead.
91. I have been married 3 times, divorced twice.
90. I had a quintuple bi-pass operation in 1996.
89. I had 4 angioplastys between 1986 and 1996,
88. I had a heart attack in 1986.
87. I should have been a professional bowler.
86. My grandparents came over on a boat from Denmark.
85. My ex-inlaws thought owning an RV was evil.
84. I used to be 6 feet tall...I am now 5’ 11 3/4”.
83. I still “talk” to my best friend from high school almost everyday (via email).
82. I had a crush on Linda Chiaputti (my best friend’s girl friend in high school).
81. I once had a 20 minute conversation with Mark Hamill at a restaurant I was managing while he was waiting for a table.
80. I also met Carol Kane, Steve Martin, John Madden, Fess Parker, Rick Moranis, Lou Ferrigno, J.D. Cannon, Kirk Cameron’s sister, John Ritter, REO Speedwagon, and George Fenneman at the same restaurant I worked.
79. My little fingers are deformed.
78. I chopped off the tip of my left index finger in a bicycle chain when I was four.
77. I rode my first Harley ever 5 years ago when I picked it up from the dealer.
76. My mother used to tap dance when she was 4 years old.
75. My mother is the same age as Shirley Temple.
74. I had a crush on Shirley Temple.
73. I had a crush on Annette funicello.
72. I have a crush on Jamie Leigh Curtis.
71. My first car (in 1966) was a 1956 Pontiac station wagon...I hated it.
72. My second car was a 1961 (in 1967) MGA...I loved it.
71. My first sexual experience was...nevemind, too personal!
70. I worked as a DJ and program director is small town local radio for 15 years.
69. In 1975, I had a lot curly hair, people accused me of looking like Gabe Kaplan.
68. My hair started to noticebly fall out in 1975.
67. In 1976 I vowed to never augment my falling hair.
66. In 2000, I shaved my head.
65. In 2004, I let it grow back.
64. We own a Greyhound, A Boxer, and a Dauschund.
63. I didn’t eat a tomato or a mushroom until I was 25 (now, I love them).
62. I have always wanted to have blue eyes (they’re brown).
61. I went to college on and off for 5 years, I never graduated.
60. I have extreme insect and spider fear.
59. I make the best guacamole you have ever tasted.
58. I make the best Shrimp Scampi you have ever tasted (the list is long).
57. My favorite drink is Jack Daniels and Coke.
56. My second favorite drink is Jack Daniels with a Corona chaser (or two).
55. Did I tell you I make the best biscuits and gravy?
54. I lived in Hawaii for most of the early 70s.
53. My sister (3 years younger) said to me late last year, “You were in Viet Nam...why didn’t I know that?”
52. I think I breathed Agent Orange.
51. I too cry at the end of E.T.
50. My favorite comedic actor is Peter Sellars.
49. I had a crush on Claudia Cardinale.
48. I once “pirated” HBO and got paranoid one night while stoned on pot that they were monitoring me from a van on the street.
47. I once thought that aliens were swimming in from the ocean (while stoned on pot in Hawaii), it was really lobster divers.
46. I was scared of clowns when I was a young child.
45. I don’t believe there is any such thing as “Bi-sexual”.
44. I had a little black dog named Pudgy when I was a child (named after Betty Boop’s dog).
43. Our first first house when I was young was in Pacoima...now a gangster ghetto in the east SF Valley.
42. A 4-engine airliner crashed into the field next to my classroom in the 2nd grade only 100 feet away...it was the same crash that killed Richie Valens cousin. I still haven’t gotten over it, I have dreams about it still (48 years ago).
41. My first job was at Mc Donalds in Canoga Park in 1966.
40. I once met Buster Keaton.
39. I was born in South Dakota and raised in the San Fernando Valley (the porn capital of the world).
38. I don’t like every Beatle song.
37. I think Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan are highly overrated.
36. I had a crush on Hayley Mills.
35. My high game in bowling is 275.
34. I could care less about any professional sport!
33. I would rather cook than have sex.
32. I had a migraine headache during my SAT’s (1966), and I think it changed my life forever.
31. I have been all over the South Pacific but never to Europe or Africa.
30. I would like to move to another country.
29. I have one 25 year old daughter named Jenifer and one 23 year old son named Jimmy.
28. I had braces during my senior picture in high school, and I think it changed my life forever.
27. I think that people who don’t use turn signals should be put in jail and given 40 lashes with a bamboo stick...maybe they would have the courtesy to signal then.
26. I think that all violent criminals should be given their own island, together, and left there forever.
25. I used to be affraid of the dark until I was an adult.
24. I still get freaked out about the Exorcist.
23. My father had a stroke 15 years ago and can’t talk, I know he would like to say things to me now.
22. I couldn’t wait to get out of high school.
21. I had a crush on Sandra Katzman in the 9th grade (she never knew).
20. I believe the space program is a complete waste of money in todays world.
19. I was in a 9th grade typing class when Kennedy was shot...we were Democrats at the time.
18. After my vascetomy in 1992, my friend took me to a bar and I got mildly intoxicated then went home and my ex-wife yelled at me.
17. I love popcorn with real butter and RC Cola.
16. I enjoy giving massages more than receiving them.
15. I have a huge fear of being eaten by things in the ocean.
14. I am very unlucky at games of chance.
13. I have a shitty attitude in general about life.
12. But, I am either very optimistic or very naive (or both).
11. I never met my Dad’s dad.
10. Sarah Jessica Parker, Angelina Jolie, Brittany Spears...I don’t get it!
9. Anne Heche...were you just trying to piss off an old boyfriend for all those years?
8. I fly like Peter Pan in my dreams a lot.
7. I once had a crush on Janet Leigh.
6. I used to have lunch once a month with Bob Applegate (Christina’s father).
5. Adam Sandler...i just don’t get it!
4. The first ime I got stoned, my friends forced me to smoke hash then listen to C.S & N’.s first album over and over gain.
3. I had a Collie named Corky.
2. I could eat (my homemade) tacos for every meal.
1. James Raymond Hansen, II

Three Quarter Life Crisis

Me @ 55
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Looks like it is time to get out the old Grecian formula for beards and mustaches if I am going to grow back the old facial follicles.

I have worn a full beard for at least half of my adult life. Only in the past three years have I gotten rid of that coupled with shaving my head (the Harley image thing you know). The head hair has grown back of late (whats left of it). Funny...somehow I thought that more hair would grow back after shaving my head for three years. I guess it doesn't work that way!

Geeze, I look like a deer in the headlights!

I may change my blog title to Three Quarter Life Crisis (pessimistic) or Just Over Half Done Life Crisis (optimistic) in homage to my daughter Jen's blog (Quarter Life Crisis). Either way...its onward and upward!

Thanks to all who emailed me birthday wishes.

Changing times

Skip in the snow
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Every year about this time, I seem to go through a change. It isn't a permanent change, but a change of some sort.

Maybe because it is winter, maybe because it is cold outside. That cabin fever thing is real. I just feel a bit more funky than I normally do. I become more grumpy, more irritable, more retrospect for sure.

This time of year, just after Christmas, also happens to be the weeks leading up to my birthday. As a child, I always looked forward to my birthday. And as with most kids, the coming of it never disappointed me. My parents had a birthday party, I got a cake with candles and some neat presents. The people around me ogled and smiled at me and took pictures. Birthdays were wonderful, joy-filled moments in my life.

But when did it start to become a not-so-great event in my life? When did my birthday become a vehicle for depression, regret, or worry?

Like any pleasant event or milestone in ones life, such as a vacation, a birthday, or other planned escape, there is always one constant. That constant is you. The places may change. The people surrounding you may change. But one thing remains constant...it is you who will always be there.

After the hoopla, you will return to being "you"...no birthday, no nice vacation spot, back to your job...back to your life.

As I was looking at the picture of myself, a couple of thoughts came to mind. My birthday is tomorrow. I have been in a bit of a funk of late, no suprise. In this picture, I am standing in front of our house in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, in the snow. The year is 1951...I am almost one year old. The snow is coming down. A snow shovel is behind me on the sidewalk, undoubtedly just laid there by my father or mother for a moment or two in order to snap the photo. The child in the photo is content, not even worried that the sun isn't shining...that it is bitter cold...and that his birthday is just around the corner...his first birthday.

There really is no reason for my annual feelings-of-funk to arise. This year, tomorrow, my wife and some friends are taking me out to a local watering hole for some drinks and appetizers. Heck, my wife and I even have it planned as a "date". There will be no presents exchanged like when I was a child...no one can afford the "toys" I want now anyway! No big deal.

So...this is an open blog to my family and friends (and anyone else who tends to feel this way before their birthday). Thanks for putting up with my moods! I have officially extricated myself from the Land o' Funk. I am a very fortunate person. And as I stated in my New Years resolution list: I will appreciate the goods things more.

The times they are a changin'. But one thing doesn't change...remember that as you look in the mirror.

A Little More Than Pocket Change

As a fledgling business consultant/photographer/ex-restaurant manager, one of my most perplexing decisions to make is: How much do I charge? Just how much is my time worth on a hourly or per-job basis?

I knew at the outset that this self-employment venture would require that I work more hours for less money, at least for a while. Later on of course, I will be able to charge exhorbitant fees for my efforts. But to start...can you say "Free Sample"?

In trying to put it all in perspective, I must remain flexible in my rate setting. Afterall, I am still a "fledgling" business consultant/photographer/...whatever I would like to call myself that day. Research has shown me that business consultants make anywhere from $50 an hour to $760 an hour. Excuse me...$760 an hour? Yup...you are correct!

In a story in business news today, it was recently announced that Krispy Kreme's newly-announced CEO, Stephen Cooper, will be paid the standard hourly rate of $760. The standard hourly rate being what his financial consulting group charges. Cooper is chariman of Kroll Cooper LLC, the company that was most recently involved with the "dismantling" of Enron. So, I suppose this Cooper guy knows something about business, hence the big payday. But wait a minute, is it such a big pay for a big shot CEO? Not really. It only comes out to $6080 per day, $30,400 per week, $127,760 per month, or $1,533,120 per year. This is assuming he works an 8 hour day, 40 hour week, etc. Shoot...I have read that big time CEOs make way more way more than that just for allowing their names to be on the financial statement...not to mention the stock options, meetings in Barbados, and other attached benefits or perks. Those "Golden Parachutes" are the best part!

So, I must start somewhere in my quest to decide what to charge for my time. Obviously, 'somewhere' is between $50 and $760 an hour. I somehow think that, at least at this point, even the $50 will raise eyebrows in the relatively small town I live.

How about I do the work for you in trade for a dozen doughnuts? Not only will I provide you with a marketing plan for your business, I will tell everyone I know that these are the best doughnuts in town. We can renegotiate our "contract"....let's say...next week...OK?

Ya' gotta start somehwere!

PS The Krispy Kreme story linked above also tells a little about how this company has not done the best job of managing itself the past year or two. Hmmm...there's that poor management card again. Imagine that!

Maybe I am the only rider/blogger!

Road_King2
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Within the last two weeks, I have posted several blogs about the fact that being a blogger and a Harley rider is kind of a contradiction in terms.

No big deal...but I have never received one email or a comment from another rider about this. Like I said, no big deal...just kind of curious.

So, I guess I will continue to post photos, quips, and ramblings about riding...its what I do. Shoot...I always receive some response from pictures of our Greyhound, Sammy...and when I blathered about guy's cars being referred to as extensions to their penises (peni?)... emails and comments abounded.

Well, instead of prattling on about how despressed I am about having to go back to school or some other personal quandry...here is another photo of the bike. I finished school 40 years ago by the way.

I will be begging for donations in May for the Sierra Hope Ride still...I have received a lot of support regarding this rider sponsored M.D. fundraiser...from non-riders BTW.

I suppose I am just an enigma. I always wanted to be something...maybe thats not a bad thing afterall.

Johnny Carson

Johnny & Ed
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I couldn't let this day pass without acknowledging Johnny Carson's passing.

There is not now and never will be a t.v. personality with his style and nose for humor.

The Almond Groves

almond_trees_1
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

It will be Spring soon...

and there will be shadows again.

I was praying a semi loaded with dairy cows wasn't bearing down on me!

RK2
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I would rather be riding it...but I forced myself to stop...get off the bike...and take my camera out.

It is gloomy out there...but I rode.

Road King 1
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I just got back from a ride through the countrside around my home.

Central California abounds with every type of farmland, dairyland, and almond-grove land there is. It is an agricultural wonderland.

For those of us who live here and do not work in that industry, we sometimes see it in a different perspective.

This is the almond capital of the world. The groves this time of year sit...dormant...leafless...waiting.

The gray skies offer some contrast to the bare limbs. But the gray skies also offer some of the most haunting diffused light there is.

I will post some other photos of the groves. But here is my ride, a 2000 Harley Road King...the bare almond trees reflected off of the tank.

This photo was taken using a Sony, DSC F828 8.0 mega pixel camera. I just let the Auto function do its thing on this one. After I downloaded it, I converted it to B&W and added some contrast. Funny...it is so gray out there that the B&W conversion did not offer a much different image than the original color one.

The mileage!

eyes
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

"It ain't the years...it's the mileage!"

First Saturday in June...Sierra Hope Ride

Sierra Hope Bikes
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I thought I would do some wishful thinking, some reiminiscing, and some forward-looking.

On the first Saturday in June the Sierra Hope Ride happens. Sponsored by the local Harley dealership here in Modesto (Mitchell's) and a large handful of other noble, local businesses...it is one of the biggest, most-successful charity rides in the nation. It is open to any and all motorcycle riders, though it primarily is a Harley event.

It is a Muscular Dystrophy fund-raiser. The Harley-Davidson organization has been close to the annual M.D. drive for a number of years now, and Sierra Hope is one of the largest events... attracting several thousand riders from throughout the Western United States.

Basically, you collect donations, then participate in a ride from Modesto to Sonora (some 70 miles). On the day of the ride, we all line up along the street outside the dealership. When the horn sounds, the procession begins its journey through Modesto and up through the foothills to Sonora.

One of the wonderful things about this is that all the local law-enforcement agencies participate also. In what way? The route is fully monitored and blocked off by the Highway Patrol and the Modesto Police Department (last year, all the way to Sonora!). Residents line the streets of Modesto and the other towns on the route as in any parade...waving, shouting, displaying American flags, also signs and banners showing their support for the efforts of thousands of Harley riders.

I always get a little choked up (as most of us do) during the trip through town. Many of the kids with M.D. are parked along the route with their wheelchairs in the beds of pick up trucks. They wave and shout...we wave and honk our horns and gun our engines in response as appreciation for their presence.

I know it is only January. But with the weather being so inclement of late, I decided to post a picture from Sierra Hope last year...in the sunshine! The bikes in that photo stand riderless for a few hours as we are treated to a great BBQ once we arrive at the fairgrounds in Sonora. Last year there was a concert by the Greg Kihn Band, the year before: Jefferson Starship.

Last year Loretta and I managed to coerce our friends and neighbors out of about $550 worth of cash donations. Our own personal goal this year is $1000...which will allow us to line up at the front of the procession!

If the blog thing is still happening for me by late May, you can expect me to begin to "coerce" my blogmates to particpate in or donate to this worthy cause.

For now...thanks for reading this far.

Me...after two weeks of overcast...

Me
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I haven't come down with a dose of "cabin fever" since I lived in Idaho in the late 70s. I lived in Boise from September '79 to March '80...there wasn't a day of sunshine until early March after we decided to back to California. My ex-wife (the mother of my children) was pregnant with our (now 25 year old) daughter, Jenifer. We spent 6 miserable months in Boise, working for a numb-nuts radio station, where we didn't see the sun the whole time. Now, having spent 6 years here in the San joaquin Valley (Modesto), I am dealing with the cabin fever thing again! I ride a Harley, my third in 5 years (a bitchen 2000 Road King Classic), and I think I am going through the Harley-riding-withdrawal-thing.

Tomorrow (Saturday), regardless of the temperature around here, I am going riding to the foothills and Highway 49. You see, 20 miles up the rode it has been sunny and in the 70s every day! I will ride up there, take some pictures, and post them tomorrow afternoon. Highway 49 is named for the 1849 gold rush here in California. It is rich with history, and abundant with wonderful scenery and fellow Harley riders on weekends. "I'll be back"...but I'm goin'!!!

A Dog's Life

Sammy
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

My Greyhound, Sammy, and I are still getting to know each other. He ceases to amaze me every day. We rescued/adopted him last June. He is a 70 pound bundle of athletic dog muscle who prefers doing exactly what you see in the picture...I am very envious of his current lifestyle. Formerly a 29-race racing Greyhound from two southwestern tracks, he, at just over 3 years old, is officially a "retired racer". Greyhound owners call their adoptees "45 mile per hour couch potatoes"...Sammy is no exception. When we find a well-secured, enclosed area and let him run...he is faster than shit! It is an amazing sight to see. But alas, as most older males can relate to, he is only good for about 3 minutes, then he wants to go to sleep!

If you are interested in taking on a similar challenge, check out this link.

The real me.

My alter ego "Robbie"
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

A friend of mine suggested that I take a picture of me blogging, not just where I blog.

Yes, that is me at the keyboard.

The other photos of "me" that appear on the site are simply electronic images downloaded into my memory for public relations purposes.

By the way, my home town is Altair...haven't been back for a while though! Thats me posing with my Uncle Mac.

A Real Fun Guy...

Tomorrow is Writing Friday. This week the topic is Food. Although my piece won't be about mushrooms, an old joke came to mind last night as I was sauteeing some mushrooms for dinner.

Why is a corporate "middle" manager (or insert your job position here) like a mushroom?

Because they keep you in the dark and feed you shit!

A real fung-gye!

Just for fun...

My Private Clubhouse
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I thought it would be fun to post a picture of what I am looking at while I blog. Hopefully, you will reciprocate.

This is where I not only blog, I do most of my work here now. This includes digital photo and video editing and writing.

There is a picture of one of my mentors, Peter Pan (the boy who never grew up and who can fly like I do in my dreams). There is a G.I. Joe-sized model of a Speeder Biker (need I tell you from what movies?), an iMac, printer, various stereo pieces including a turntable and vcr for transferring analog music and video to digital (behind is much, much more of the stereo stuff!), cameras, PDAs, DVDs, CDs, a coffee cup (still hot by the way), some toothpicks, memorabilia...the list is endless.

This is also an exercise to motivate me to reorganize this mess.

Thanks for bearing with me. And your blog spot?

Be who you are?

At some time in the not-to-distant past, a former boss of mine presented me with a bit of wisdom that has recently been swirling around in my head. During a conversation with him concerning our careers in management, we both were whining about how we didn't really enjoy our jobs. This wasn't unusual since we had always been in agreement that most corporate (or non-corporate for that matter) food service managers were, well...miserable, ie, hated their jobs. He threw at me a little saying, "This is not what I am...it is simply what I do". In other words, "we gotta do what we gotta do" (to earn a living I suppose). One must do what is neccessary to pay the bills, right? Like Popeye said (and more recently Tony Soprano), "I'yam what I'yam". So, presumably, if you can do "what you are" to earn a living...so much the better. Hence, my recent foray into self employment...I'm giving it the old college try!

Rewind some thirty years ago to something a psychology professor said to me. Evidently, an old catch phrase amongst pyschoanalysts exists and it goes a little like this: A neurotic is someone who thinks he is a dog...a psychotic is someone who knows he is a dog.

So how do these two sayings relate to each other? Think about it. Quite possibly, one must be at least somewhat psychotic in convincing oneself that he is accurate in his preception of who he or she is! While in reality, you may be something entirely different. Up until last October, I was a corporate restaurant manager. Now I am a consultant/photographer/writer. Or am I?

To put it simply, you are whatever you want to be. In order to combine what you do with who you are, one must only make the statement...then, do something about it. There may be some societal rules you must consider. I always wanted to be a Gynecologist. I suppose I could call myself a Gynecologist, but I would have to add "amateur" as a preface since I didn't go to medical school. But I have been a practicing (though not professionally until now) photographer. People are paying me to do this, voila..."professional". Whether or not you are good at what you "are" is irrelevant!

What about that saying "You are what you eat" from years ago? Nevermind, that is for another post.

Woof!

Into the Wayback Machine for a moment...

The Little Rascals
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I just thought it would be kind of nice to post this picture for all of us older Dudes and Dudettes.

If my memory serves me: Pete (the friendly pitbull), Mary (the eyes, the eyes), Spanky (my mentor), Darla (always had a crush on her), Wheezer ("Re-mark-a-bow!"), Alfalfa (another alter-ego), and of course, Buckwheat.

Believe it or not, Robert Blake was also one of Our Gang later.

Enjoy.

Re-inventing one's self.

Last night Loretta and I decided to venture out into a Saturday night in public. For the most part, we're pretty much a stay-at-home couple, empty-nesters (except for the dogs) who really enjoy their home. We'll have folks over for dinner on occassion since I love to cook, but last night we thought it was time to actually go out for dinner.

So, we called our friends, Sue & Gene, and stopped by their house for a beer and a few Jeno's pizza rolls. Gene and I sat in his garage/TV lounge/sportsbar and talked "guy talk", Loretta and Sue in the house talking...yes, "girl talk". Half an hour later, we were on our way to "Mike's Roadhouse", a pleasant, family-oriented bar and grill in Modesto. The parking lot was pretty full. Afterall, it was 6:30 on a Saturday night so we knew there may be a wait to get in anywhere. One of things we like about Mike's (besides the usual bar and grill faire) is that they have a sign right next to the front door that says, "Parking here reserved for Harleys only." You can park your Harley right on their sidewalk next to the front door. We weren't riding that night by the way, no one else was either (it hasn't been above 40 degrees in Modesto for a few days).

We went inside. It was quite busy. There were 20 or so folks, families, couples, and a few winter-formal-kids dressed in their fancy clothes waiting to be seated. But, we lucked out. The host (also the owner, pretty sure his name is Mike) invited us to take the recently-vacated table in the bar if we wanted. Score! No waiting! Sue, Gene, Loretta, and I seated ourselves at a high, cabaret style table and settled in.

Mike's Roadhouse is a medium-size bar and grill. The bar is across one wall with several tables. Behind the bar, the counter and wall contains motorcycle decorations, signs, and other memorabilia. The dining room is on the other side of a planter type partition containing some booths and more cabaret tables. It was packed. We didn't mind, we got seated right away, and now we would chat and people-watch.

We perused the menu, talked about our selections, then the server/bartender came and took our drink order very quickly. Not less than a minute later, he brought our drinks, took our food order, and we were set. Loretta, Sue, and I have all been in the restaurant industry for a number of years, so this kind of service really stands out...one of the reasons that Mike's Roadhouse does a good business. Imagine that...good service...good food...good business! I will save my service industry rants for another time. I have to be judicious with those, I could run out of megabytes in no time! Anyway, our food came, we dove in, and all was well.

The restaruant was getting busier, a lot of people waiting in the lobby and a lot of those people were spilling into the bar. Standing next to our table, between our table and the one next to us, was a nice looking family of four: father, mother, teenage daughter, and their 10 year old son. The dad drinking a draught beer, mom had a glass of white zin or something, the daughter and son had sodas. Now, the son was right next to me. Because we were seated at a cabaret table, that put his face right at table level. At some point, he turned toward our table. That positioned his face not more than six inches from my bacon cheese burger and fries, at the same level! Normally, being the somewhat, claustrophoic, intolerant, curmudgeon that I am...I would normally have given the kid one of my patented dirty looks, rolled my eyes, and shaken my head. But, instead, I smiled at him and said, "Hey, how you doin'?" His eyes widened a bit and moved from the bacon cheese burger on my plate up to my eyes. His father said, "Son, back off a little." I then said to the boy, "No problem, don't worry about it...you want some of my fries while you're waiting?" The father cracked up and the boy backed away a little saying, 'No thank you." "Are you sure", I said, "I have ketchup and Ranch dressing if you like." "No, that's OK", he returned. The father and I exchanged smiles, we continued to eat and chat, and the family may have felt just a little more comfortable having to stand six inches from our table while waiting for theirs.

My point is: I never used to do things like that, ie, be friendly, turning around an uncomfortable situation. I would often bluster and shake my head muttering something like, "Do you believe these people, letting their son stare at my food not more than six inches away?" So, I think I am actually re-inventing myself...again. I think I am have started to become a more gracious person! Is that possible? There have been many more exchanges of late similar to that one, many of which have left me and the other person with a warmer feeling inside.

Long ago, I learned in the service industry that smiles begat smiles and so on. When I managed restaurants, I always made eye contact with everyone I passed on the floor and I at least flashed them a modest smile. I never really practiced that in public, away from the business...until now. You know, it really does work. You may not always receive a reciprocal reaction, but you will always feel better that you tried. My new self-employment venture has forced me to re-invent myself in several ways, one of those ways concerns how I can control what happens when interacting with other people. It will help bring me more business. But most importantly...it will help me feel better about myself. I am reasonably sure that that 10 year old kid will remember that a biker-looking old guy offered him some of his fries the other night!

I just need to remember one other thing when those exchanges happen: I should have handed the Dad one of my business cards. Damn it! "Are we learning anything yet?"

One of the last, true vestiges of freedom...

It may not be everybody’s cup of tea, but it is certainly ours.

Today, mid-afternoon...springtime in the valley. It is not hot and it is not cool, it is just right. The sun is not particularly high in the sky, but high enough to shine down on the tops of our heads, warming our brains through the plexiglass. High clouds dot the bright blue sky. The California foothill countryside is soothing to be riding through. We are not riding fast, just riding. We are alone on this ride, the way we prefer most of the time. The two lane highway stretches out in front of us, seemingly endless, no other vehicles in sight...mile after mile of asphault-lined road with small culverts on each side filled with new grass. The barbed-wire fences on each side of the highway tell us to stay out of the alfalfa fields, but never block our view of the farms and hillsides as we continue along. Black and white dairy cows go about their daily business, unaware of our presence on the nearby highway...unless, of course, I honk the horn or gun the engine on a straight section in the road. And even then, they only pause for a second to look up at us while continuing to chew their cud. After we pass, they lower their massive heads and continue to search for their daily sustanance. This is our sustanance for now.

We both smile slightly as I turn my head back from time to time, just checking to see if she is looking at the same sights that I am. We point, nod our heads, not often hearing what the other has said. I must keep my eyes on the road, she grips my side a little tighter as I go faster through a sweeping turn. It would only take a second of lost concentration to end this solitude. It is such a strange thing. This past time of ours is so relaxing to us and others like us, while being such a wild, uncivilized enigma to most others who watch us go by. We live to ride...and we ride to live. It is the closest thing to flying without leaving the ground. I only wish that sometimes I could let go of the handlebars with both hands and hold my arms straight out to the sides...face the sky and close my eyes, letting the big Harley take us where we are headed on its own accord. It is one of the things that we do because we choose to do it. It is one of the few things left to do that symbolizes freedom where we live. We are riders. We are bikers. And yes, some us like to write about it. I just hope someone likes to read about it!

What's on your list of the mundane?

I don't know exactly why this came to mind today, but here goes. Who is on your list of The Top 5 Overrated Pop "Icons"? As an example, my list is below, how in the hell does Brittany Spears deserve a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? So, she does "deserve" a spot on my list. Overrated can also simply mean, "OK, they had a big song or a big movie...but after that...just ridin' that 15 minutes of fame, sometimes for 30 years or more!"

My Top 5 List of the Mundane and Overrated:

1. Brittany Spears (of course)
2. Bruce Springsteen
3. Adam Sandler
4. Bob Dylan
5. Martha Stewart

Yes, I know...a list of 5 is too short, but give it a try! I will tally and post the Top 5 in a later post if I have a big enough sample. Please, avoid political figures unless they have crossed over from pop to politics...try to rate their "pop-ularity" before becoming governors.

Thanks, Jack

The Adventures of...

The children taking a "break".
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

..Sparky (the Dauschund), Lucy (the Boxer), and Sammy (the Greyhound). If you aren't the owner of a spoiled dog (or any other spoiled pet for that matter), I know you are rolling your eyes and shaking your head. If you are the owner of a spoiled pet, you are rolling your eyes and shaking your head! Their adventures are actually sometimes a little less subdued than the pictures indicate. They do get into trouble on occassion by horsing around in the house with too much enthusiasm. Sometimes, they even go outside, although in the winter (even here in Central California) those trips are few and far between and at times take a little coaxing...I mean dragging. Know this if you are still contemplating this type of arrangement, ie, owning one or more poiled, short-haired, purebred dogs: it is extremely rewarding while being a complete and total pain in the ass. The rewards really do outweigh the pain factor, we love our dogs. Sometimes, as with human children, you feel like a reverse adoption would be in order. Just a quick bit of advice. If you are contemplating adopting an animal of any kind, know what you are getting into and what is in store for you. We adopted Sammy (the Greyhound) from the rescue group near Modesto, CA: Amazing Greys Retired Racers out of Manteca. If you are interested in doing the same, you can find information at that site. Or just type "greyhound rescue" in your search engine, they have groups everywhere. One other note...if you live on the West Coast and either own a Greyhound or would like to see lots of them up close, then check out the West Coast Greyhound Gathering coming to Solvang Febr 25 -27. I have a feeling you may meet a few there!
Oh...and one more thing...a bit of advice if you plan on getting a Retired Racer as a permanent house guest...try to avoid getting dressed in the presence of a Greyhound, ie, don't be naked if one is standing near you...as with all dogs, they meet and greet with their noses...and a Greyhound's nose is quite long, as well as positioned at just the "right" height! Hello!!!

Dave Matthews...John Mayer...Dave Matthews...

Just a quick muse on these guys...I love their music, both of them...but why do they both have to be around at the same time? Here is something to ponder....have you ever seen the both of them together? I mean, have they ever "guested" at each other's concerts? Probably not. I think they are the same person engaged in a genius marketing scheme! Back up a few days...the only music I listen to is my own iPod and iMac (via Airport Express to my stereos or via iTrip to my car radio), except for a small Smooth jazz station in the Modesto area: 105.5 The River. They not only play, well...Smooth Jazz...they play eclectic selections of Sting, Chicago, Seal, Etta James, Dave Matthews, and, yes...John Mayer. I went on iTunes Music Store tonight to download, what I thought was, Dave Matthews' version of the Police classic, "Message in a Bottle". First of all, "no results" came back from my Dave Matthews search. Hmmmm! OK...maybe there is some sort of record company or artist politics here, "I ain't lettin' my music on that piece of crap download whore..." (I still haven't figured that one out) Then, I searched "John Mayer"...and low and behold, there was the song: "Message in a Bottle". So...I did pay my $.99 for John Mayers' version...so now, is there a Dave Matthews' version? And if there is, can you tell the difference? They are both great, if indeed there is a "both"...but c'mon, why at the same point in time?

Wanna-Be or Aspire-To-Be?

Which one am I. Which one are you? I once read that when a person becomes truly self-actualized, he or she is finally where they "should" be, ie, doing exactly what they were meant to do. The example that comes to mind? Albert Einstein. Did you know that he wasn't particularly good in school, especially in Math? But that quantum physics thing! Like a good chess player, he could think ahead hundreds of moves and possibilities. He was most simply and accurately...a thinker. That is what Einstein was destined to do...think about and describe the Theory of Relativity. Getting back to the heading of this post, Wanna-Be or Aspire-To-Be? I would like to think that if one is doing anything on a daily basis that moves them toward their goals, then they are an Aspire-To-Be. For instance, (for an aspiring writer) if you are reading this because you have your own site that allows you to write something and read something of interest daily...then you are on your way. If you are still only thinking about it...well, you are the other one. And not that there is anything wrong with being a Wanna-Be. That was me for 35+ years (I'm being easy on myself and not counting childhood or pre-teen years!). It may take more time than you are comfortable with, but being on the road to "Self-Actualization" is a whole lot better than being on the road to "Nowhere". What are you going to do today?

Finally...a break in the rain?

Loretta and Me...riding!
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Unfortunately, this is not a recent photo. It was taken a few months ago on the way home from Street Vibrations in Reno. With the recent deluge of rain we have been experiencing in California, this is a "wishful thinking" pic for the next couple of days...it is supposed to clear! Although being a resident of the Northern San Joaquin Valley we may have to put up with "Tule Fog" instead of the rain. I don't care damn it...I'm ridin'!!!

I've Been There...

It was almost 35 years ago, but I was there..."there" being Phuket Island, Pataya beach, Thailand. While in the Navy assigned to Patrol Squadron One based out of Barbers Point, Hawaii (we flew in P-3 Orions, sub-hunter patrol planes), we deployed to SE Asia for six months at a time. With home-bases in Subic Bay/Cubi Pt, Philippines, Utapao, Thailand, and Cam Rahn Bay, Vietnam we flew all over the Pacific on various types of missions including Submarine Ops, Patrol Ops, Ferry Ops, and, yes...R & R Ops. Of Course, the latter type of operation was our favorite: Rest & Relaxation. Several trips were taken to Bangkok...and from Bangkok it was a wild 70 mile taxi ride to the beach resort town of Pataya Beach. This place to Europeans is what Cancun is to Americans: a beautiful, tropical resort...though a little more rustic in those days. While I was there with my crew, we got to take a boat trip out to Phuket Island. It is spectacular to see and breathtaking to snorkel in the waters surrounding it. I will never forget it. Back to the present...it was one of the areas hit hard by the tsunami. I can only imagine what it looks like now. The pictures we have all seen don't justify the amount of destruction that went on there recently. My best friend Bob as sent me a couple links you might be interested in. The first one is a story about how we have actually "lost" almost three seconds of the day because of the earthquake's effect on the planet!... This second one has satellite before and after pictures of some of the devastation in Sri Lanka. Our existence on this planet is so very fragile and fleeting.

Questons 67 & 68

Does anybody really know what time it is...does anybody really care? Sorry, I was reminiscing...again. Just curious...is anybody into "Deadwood" on HBO? How about "Carnivale"? Of course, if you have read this far, you are into "The Sopranos"? Deadwood starts again in March...Carnivale soon thereafter. But what about The Sopranos? They went for a couple of years in between the last seasons, that is totally not fair. Of course, we have all watched the whole series in reruns on HBO, HBO2, HBO3, HBO4, etc. Do you actually think that Adrianna was wacked by Sylvio? Our opinion is...it was all a setup by Tony and Chris so she could work on that sitcom she is in for a year or so. What do you think???

Jumbo Shrimp?

New Melones, Highway 49
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Since getting involved with the blog thing, and the blog explosion thing, I suppose I could now add to my life's resume: blogger. That's fine, I'll accept that. But I am a little concerned that since I am also a "biker", am I now juxtapositioning two terms that may contradict each other? A contradiction in terms, ie, Jumbo Shrimp? A blogger biker. It just doesn't sound right, does it? Well, I will reserve final judgement (of myself) until after I receive at least one comment from another Harley rider. That's right, a Harley rider. I would even be somewhat satisfied by hearing from one Harley "passenger". Any blogger riders out there? How about Jumbo Shrimp?

I Think I Understand...!

I was just about ready to email my daughter about this Blog Explosion thing. But then I thought...why not blog about it...see if she is reading her old Dad's crap. I know she reads this once in a while, I get comments from her. So, here is my question to her and anyone else: I am still not quite sure I understand this Blog Explosion thing, do you? I signed up yesterday. I have been "surfing" the blogs. Now what? I suppose I really need to "Read the Directions" on the BE site, I just get a little impatient at times. Looks like my daughter did too after she signed up. Any help out there understanding how it works? Also, no one told me this was mostly for "you youngsters out there"! I am still hoping to land on a "happy" blog, any suggestions here also?

Oh Robb!!!

Oh Robb!!!
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

For those of us in the so-called Baby Boomer Generation, which, by the way, somehow includes anyone born up to the year 1964, I will digress a moment. I was born in 1950. One can be referred to as a Baby Boomer if one was born between 1944 and 1964. The war (WW II by the way) caused a lot of people to get together and start large families. This in turn precipitated a huge need for more schools in the 50's, etc, etc. The term was (slap!) born: Baby Boomer. Anyway, I have a hard time accepting that someone born in 1964 (or any year after 1955) as a Baby Boomer. Now, I know what you are saying..."Who cares? I was born in 1960 and I don't want to be a Baby Boomer anyway. Buzz off you old fart!" Sure...fine...but I keep running into people who refer to themselves as Baby Boomers and they were born in 1964! If your parents were still popping out babys because of World War II in 1964, well...I guess they love babies. I know, I know...what's my point? Here is what I have come up with. If someone wants to be a Baby Boomer (reiterate "wants to be"), just show them this picture. To be able to identify these people, you're probably over 21 years old with an IQ higher than your waist size...right? But to qualify as a Baby Boomer, you must be able to identify their character names in the TV show! Cool, huh? I usually go one step further and ask their co-worker's names, the next door neighbor's names, their address, her maiden name, their son's name, and who played Alan Brady? But that's going a little too far, don't you think? In the episode where Robb was concerned he was losing his hair (and he heard that rubbing olive oil on your head before going to bed would stop the hair loss), what had replaced his hair when he woke up (in a dream of course)? You're right...that's a little overboard.

Cooking 101 - Hail Caesar!

Caesar Salad
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Most people have heard of Caesar Salad. Heck, most average adults have eaten a few Caesar Salads in their lives. I know I have. But what most people don't know is where it came from. Before I tell you where it came from, here is what's in one.

Usually, it has Romaine lettuce, tossed in a Garlic Vinaigrette dressing (made with Worchestershire Sauce and lemon juice)...then you add grated parmesan cheese, croutons, a coddled egg (basically a slow-boiled egg, not quite hard), and...anchovies! In fancier restaurants, the dressing is actually made at the table by mashing the garlic and oil into a paste around the bottom of a large wooden bowl, then tossing in the Romaine, parmesan, anchovies, etc. It is a very simple dish, it is easy to make, and goes well with almost anything. The most interested thing about a Caesar Salad is where it was "invented". Are you ready? Tiajuana, Mexico. Italian Chef Caesar Cardini came up with this in his restaruant in Tiajuana in 1924. Do you think that using his own name instead of the city it was invented in has helped its popularity?
And you thought anchovies were only good on pizza!

Hey Dad...

Dad and Me
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

You know, Dad's aren't always known for being the affectionate types, especially with their male offspring. My Dad was no exception. Maybe it is a product of your upbringing motivated by your heritage. We come from a Danish background. I always heard that Northern Europeans, folks from the "old country", were somewhat "cool" in that department. I'm sure that the children of children whose parents acutally took a boat from Europe have evolved somewhat in the affection department. I know I have. But, for what it's worth...here is my Father laying one on me in 1950. It may be the only photo I have displaying that kind of parental behavior, but at least...I have this one! I love you Dad.

Jimmy Page...61 years old!

Jimmy Page
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Just a quick birthday to note. Jimmy Page of Led Zepplin is 61 years old today! When these rock celebrity birthday milestones pass, I always have to wonder if we will be marking today's rock celebrities' birthdays. In 30 years, will we stop to note: Wow, Kid Rock is 58 years old today...and he is still packing them in! Yea, right.

Yo Ho Ho...

Yo Ho Ho...
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

I was going through some old photos I recently scanned for a project I am working on, a photo and video montage for Jenifer and Roth, and came across this one. Its a picture of Roth (my daughter's fiance) at some young age, dressed in a pirate suit at Halloween. Now, I came to think...I've only assumed that it was at Halloween. Quite possibly, that may have been his everyday attire at age 10... something to think about! I really should ask him. Not that wearing a pirate outfit on a regular basis is anything weird or sinister at age 10, I have pictures of me in full Howdy Doody regalia when I was a child and it was Xmas time! I would like to think that having worn the "Puffy Shirt" long before Seinfeld or Larry David ever thought about it put Roth right up there on the cutting edge a long time ago. So, today (thanks to that picture) I cannot get that song out of my head. You know the one. The one that plays over and over in Pirates of the Carribean? Yo ho ho, its a pirates life for me!

By the way, my daughter posted the answer (in a comment) to the musical question I asked at the beginning of the previous post. I was truly proud to learn (and I mean truly) that her last class at Cal Poly enroute to her degree in Journalism was Beatles 101 (true story). She got an A by the way! Arggghhh Maties!

Good Morning! It's time to take the "plunge"...

"Woke up...got out of bed...dragged a comb across my head...found my way downstairs and drank a cup...looking up I noticed I was late...found my coat and grabbed my hat...made the bus in seconds flat..." What song are those lines from and who sang it? I'll tell you in the next post.

I recently decided to move forward with my dream: running my own home-based business. It wasn't a rash decision. It wasn't something I did in a moment of desperation and frustration from having a lousy day at work. It was, and still is, a move that had to be done. It's funny, but my former corporate jobs drove me to this. And it makes sense. My former career was driving me crazy...and being a little crazy is one of the checklist items required to make this kind of move. Now...getting up a four or five in the morning allows me to do some work when I am my most creative. My mind is realtively clear (I am a morning person), the house is quiet (even the dogs are still sleeping), and I can really "think". I always first fire up the coffee maker and turn on the TV...a local Sacramento morning news show is what we watch. Well, since today is Saturday, its not on at 5:00 am. In fact, they only recenly added a weekend version, but that doesn't start until 7:00 am. So, instead, what I get is gobs and gobs of infomercials. Sometimes I get fixated on Ron Popeil's products. You know him, he's the guy who "invented", among other things, the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie, the Pasta Maker, the Food Dehydrator, and so on. He is also the guy who brought us the Popeil Pocket Fisherman: A little plastic fishing "pole" that, well...fits in your pocket. And...this guy actually started by marketing that spray paint stuff for your bald spot! A can of frigging black or brown spray paint to spray on the your head, thus eliminating any need for expensive "rugs" or other folicular augmentation. Wow...can you imagine his wife's reaction when he proposed that to her, "Honey, I'm quitting my somewhat comfortable and income-producing job to market spray paint for balding heads!" He certainly was and is a consummate salesperson. Anyway, there was another informercial on this morning that I watched for 30 seconds. This one was one of many professing the virtues of...yes, starting your own home-based business. There are many of these available, ranging in price from $19.95 a month (for 19 months) to $19.95 period. Whether or not they possess any information that the average, above-100-IQ person would already know remains to be seen. What they do possess is "motivation"... a "yes-you-too-can-do-it-too" approach that motivates you to at least go to the phone. And check this out...once you are on the phone with them...they won't let you off until you buy! How do they do this? They are ready to "deal". You see, that price on TV is not set in stone. Now if you are calling to buy a Bowflex, there isn't much room to bargain, the product is relatively expensive to produce. But with "information" products, it is a whole different story. You can deal with these people like you are at the swapmeet! It's only paper, cardboard, and a cassette (DVD) or two. "Well how about if I send you the "Make Six Figures in Six Weeks" package for, let's say, $19.95 a month for three months instead of six months...and we'll overnight it to you for the same shipping price?" "Hmmm!", you ponder to yourself. "And, if you order now, we'll also send you "free of charge", the Quick Start Book: Six Figures in Six Minutes". Well, you get the picture. The point is (and if anyone is still reading this at this point), this is what "marketing" is all about!!! For those of us venturing into the world of self-employed marketing, ie, selling marketing ideas to clients, you must begin by marketing yourself first. If you can't do that, how could you ever convince a business person to give you a shot at marketing their thing? When I was in broadcast sales, one of my old bosses (a guy named Gary Owens...no, not the 'laugh In' guy) used to tell me, "Jack...you can't spend half the day in the office at your desk playing Business Card Solataire", a kind of fun, time-wasting, clocking-watch game. He continued, "Get your ass on the street and make 30 calls a day...you will make a ton of money". Well, he was right. You have to "see the people" to make money in sales. And even though I hate "sales", it is a must-do in this business (consulting and marketing) in order to, well...make money! Now, some 20 years later, Business Card Solataire has been replace by...you guessed it: Internet Roulette. Man...when you type something in the subject line then hit the "search" button, it's almost like being in Las Vegas. Not only do you receive thousands and thousands of new suggestions for wasting time...you get Pop Ups too! So...the moral? If you are contemplating "taking the plunge", or know someone who is...Tip Number One: keep reading this blog. Yes, besides pictures of my dogs, kids, Harleys, and myself...I will offer as much wisdom as I can regarding the pitfalls of self-home-based employment. Why should you listen to me? Simply put...I have made every mistake and ordered almost every self-help package available the past 20 years. Please pass along this blog site to anyone you think might enjoy a little irreverant writing, a joke or two, commiseration, and yes...INFORMATION from time to time. In the words of Clark Griswold just before he went down the hill on the saucer sled (the bottom of which coated with his own silicone-based non-stick product), "Later dudes!"

What's going on inside their heads?

The Sparkster...aka Boo-Boo One
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Do dogs think? Do dogs have a soul? I know they desire. I know they pout. I know they get angry. I know dogs can be pensive. I know they have "down days". I know they anticipate. I know they feel pain. I know they feel remorseful. I know dogs are very perceptive. Don't they react when you are feeling low? I know that they know when they screw up. When your dog looks at you, where does he look? He looks into your eyes (OK, unless of course you are holding a T-Bone Steak!). What is he looking for as he stares into your eyes? Is he reading your soul? Dogs are very naughty at times. With a Dauschund, a Boxer, and a Greyhound (all couch potatoes 95% of the day), their "play" can sometimes cause minor structural damage (I recently replaced some plaster on a corner in the living room). When we yell at them, they don't run away...they just stand there and lower their heads and look up at us! "We're sorry...really...but, we're just dogs". And you know what...they are just dogs. And, yes...they do think, and they do have souls. A being cannot look at you like Sparky is in that picture and, well...you be the judge.

It wasn't for kids...

It wasn't for kids...
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Two posts ago: Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman". "Gee, where are we going today Mr. Peabody?" "Well, today Sherman, we are stepping into the "Wayback Machine" to the year 2004" "Why are we going there Mr. Peabody?" "Because that was the year that Jack Diddley bailed out of the world of corporate weasels and bullshit, Sherman." "Gee whiz Mr. Peabody, should you be using that kind of language in a cartoon.?" "Sherman...go fix me a Carmel Macchiata...and let me tell the stories."

Quote of the Day

Clousseau, Balls, Cami
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

One of my favorite quotes:


"Through wind and mud, snow and hail...

Whether long or short, dark or pale...

Remember, that when duty calls...

You've got Balls."


Professor Auguste Balls

Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman

Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

Yes, friends...its that time once again...Pop Icon Nostalgia. There was and still is nothing quite like the humor, the irreverance, and the just-plain-sarcastic wit exhibited by Jay Ward. Do you remember these characters and the name of the device behind them? Check the next post...or don't, it's up to you.

Agent Provocateur?

As I was flipping through my albums the other day...yes, actual f%#@ing record albums (I still have many, ones that my ex-wife was gracious enough to allow me to have after selling most at a garage sale 3 days after we split up, she also sold my bowling balls and several fishing poles for $.50 each: fodder for another post, another time))... I came across a Foreigner album from the late seventies titled, "Agent Provocateur", (as Ed Sullivan used to say, "Now for you youngsters out there...here's the Beatles....ah, Foreigner") That term, Agent Provocateur, always fascinated me. I thought that I might refer to myself as an Agent Provocateur, like entrepreneur (n : someone who organizes a business venture and assumes the risk for it [syn: enterpriser]), or sabateur (n 1: someone who commits sabotage or deliberately causes wrecks [syn: wrecker, diversionist]), or amateur (lacking professional skill or expertise;). But after looking up agent provocateur, (n : a secret agent who incites suspected persons to commit illegal acts [syn: agent provocateur]), I wasn't so sure anymore. You know, not so sure that I may somehow fit that bill. The word "provocateur" is a deritive of "provocative" (adj 1: serving or tending to provoke, excite, or stimulate; stimulating discussion or exciting controversy; "a provocative remark"). By this time, I was completely confused and disappointed. I have always thought it kind of cute, and "provocative" to use the word "provocative" loosely in many different situations, when, in reality, maybe it wasn't appropriate. But, then again...consider this. I think the word "provocative" is almost as versatile at, well...the f-word. Think about it. The f-word, or the f-ing-word is utilized at the drop of a hat in so many situations (none of which will be detailed here). How about "provocative", ie, "This cocktail is...provocative", "That "Brittany Spears outfit was...provocative", "That wine had a provocative finish". I'm not really sure that any of these usages could be defined as 'serving or tending to provoke, excite, or stimulate; stimulating discussion or exciting controversy'! Ya think? Once again, I may be wrong. If my head is up my ass on this one (or any of the others) please let me know. Now that is provocative.

Those wiley coyotes who drive Pintos

Those wiley coyotes who drive Pintos
Originally uploaded by Jack Diddley.

The coyote, in our society, pronounced (ki-yoh-tee),a small wolf native to western North America [syn: prairie wolf, brush wolf, Canis latrans]

South of the border, pronounced (coh-yoh-teh), someone who smuggles illegal immigrants into the United States (usually across the Mexican border).

What's my point? Check this out. In the news yesterday, there was a story about how the Mexican government has put out and distributed a kind of "Coyote Pamphlet". This brochure actually details how to cross the border safely as well as evade border patrols. It also gives tips on how to secure employment in the U.S., etc, etc, etc. Get the picture? Why? According to the federales, since they are doing it anyway, let's try to make it safer by telling them the "right" way to do it. I am going to try to get a copy of this brochure...I just gotta see it! At this time, I won't blather about the plight of these immigrants, the danger, the political ramifications, the "no one else will do the jobs they get" prattle. But, isn't this insane? Who knows? Having spent 15 years in restaurant management, I certainly heard my share of "coyote" stories first hand. I don't know the answers to this dilemma. just thought you might like to know.

Cooking 101 - Shrimp

Anyone who knows me also knows that I love to cook. I love to cook for friends, I don't love to cook in a commercial environment (Reason #213 for getting out of the restaurant buisness). So, with that in mind, I would like to post an occassional cooking tip, bit-o-trivia, or observation about cooking for my readers (all 3 of them). Here are the basics of Shrimpology. Shrimp are generally sold in size categories based on critters per pound: Colossal (10 or less), Jumbo (11-15 per lb), Extra large (16-20), Large (21-30), Medium (31-35), small (36-45), Miniature (100 per lb). The latter sometimes known in cooking circles as the "Seamonkey" category. Of course, most of us already know that one of the most often used "contradiction in terms" is Jumbo Shrimp, a kin to Military Intelligence, a Small Elephant, etc. Back to Shrimp...when purchased fresh, they should smell like the ocean. If they smell like, well...Shrimp, don't buy them...they have already accumulated ammonia (as does most seafood as it gets old), move on. Wash them well before cooking, after shelling. When cooking, they are done when they turn pink, ie, lose their translucency. Shortly thereafter, they will turn tough and chewey. And regarding the term "deveining", keep this in mind. Some cookbooks say that this is unneccesary with the smaller varieties as it is mainly a "cosmetic preference". Well, if you enjoy dining on Shrimp Doo-Doo, then leave the "vein" in, because that vein is actually the intestinal vein and is filled with...poop! Realistically, deveining cocktail shrimp or other size close to the Seamonkey category would be near impossible. With the more manageable sizes, simply remove the shell and make a small incision down the back, then pull or wash out the "vein". Yes, they are relatively high in cholesterol, but low in calories unless you dredge them in garlic butter or alfredo sauce (my favorite methods...go figure). As time goes by (play it again Sam), I will link some recipes to this site just for the heck of it. Watch for them. One more thing, no one ever said, "Play it again Sam" in Casablanca. Evidently, the line from Bogart to Sam the piano player was...? The answer in the next post.

Peace...and may your Shrimp ala Linguini be all that it should be!

Customer Service is not dead, it just needs to be taught.

Soapbox Derby #1

Went to Lowes and that other Depot place today (I can't remember which one is left in this town...Base or Home). At the Depot place, we stepped up to the counter to buy paint...Grandpa Festus (a quite elderly gentleman with long spindly fingers and long sharp-looking nails, probably convenient for picking his nose) looks at Loretta and I (we were both smiling by the way) and utters, "Aarrrggh!"...loosely translated may have meant, "Hi folks, how may I help you?" So, we offered him a hearty, "How are you?" "Aarrrghh", he responded. We then handed him our two paint samples and asked him if we could get them in an Eggshell finish. Grandpa snatched them out of my hand, uttered, "Aarrggh" again while shuffling over to a computer/paint dispenser-looking thing. We assumed he would mix the paint for us, it appeared that is what he was doing. "We will be back in a few minutes, we'll be looking at some lighting", we said. No response from Grandpa on that one. Well, we returned 20 minutes later to find Grandpa gone, a couple of cans of paint on the counter, neither of which were ours. We stood there for 5 minutes waiting for some sign of life when Loretta said, and this is an exact quote, "Let's get the f@#k out of here!" We weren't about to give the Depot place some $50 of our money for that kind of service (non-service). I did feel a little bad in the car driving away, "Maybe Grandpa was laying behind the counter...you know...dead!" I always look at the bright side, give 'em the benefit of the doubt when we get shitty customer service. We ended up going to Lowes for the paint. So, once again, I am inspired to make the Lowes/Home Depot Base employee list of customer service Do's & Dont's that I suspect are posted in their employee break rooms and are taught in the Lowes/Home Depot Base training sessions:

Rule #1 - Never, ever make eye contact with a customer, you may have to talk to them.
Rule #2 - When moving through the aisles and you come upon a customer, keep walking as if you have somewhere important to go.
Rule #3 - If you are forced to listen to a question from a customer, you can tell them that this is not your department and continue on your way.
Rule #4 - Again, if you are forced to listen to a question from a customer, you can tell them, "Let me check on that for you"...then disappear to another part of the store...make sure you stay away from that area for at least 30 minutes.
Rule #5 - Simply tell them you are on a break or not clocked in yet.
Rule #6 - If a customer has you cornered...as a last resort...tell them you are not feeling well today then throw up on them...it's highly unlikely they will stick around for an answer to their question.

Quite honestly, every one on that list I have experienced first-hand except the throwing up part in the last one.

My advice in today's marketplace? Follow-up with those threats to speak to a manager or write a letter to corporate. And better yet...stop patronizing those shitholes after you write the letter!

Serenity Now!

Another Day in Paradise

Indiana Jones is the "person" who uttered those quotes in "Raiders of the Lost Arc".

Anyway, it is another day in paradise...all sarcasm aside (for a few seconds only). Time to keep moving foward. since it is my wonderful wife Loretta's day off, we will begin painting the living room today as I promised. We have been adding actual colors to our walls in this house (5 years now), and the living room will be a kind of mauve on two walls and a lighter version on two walls and the hallway. But first, a few moments to post my New Years resolutions. Here they are in no particular order of priority...the Big 10:
1) Tolerance - Be a lot more tolerant of everything that bothers me (a list forthcoming of these items when I have a few days to sit and write continuously).
2) Appreciation - I will appreciate everything I have right now more (wife, family, home, kids, dogs,myself).
3) Passions - I will pursue my passions without guilt and with a renewed vigor (my new business, cooking, Harley riding, writing).
4) I will finish an old short story I started several years ago.
5) I will start 2 books (a novel and a humorous collection of anecdotes about the restaurant business/service industry).
6) I will continue my new plan to lose weight and exercise (actually started a month ago, I really lost 10 pounds in December!).
7) I will further my attempts to have regular contact with my siblings and parents (email, vmail, and in person). I have two sisters who live near my parents 200 miles away.
8) Financial - I will make more money this year than last (to include paying off all my credit card debt).
9) Philathropy - I will pay forward more this year than last.
10) Serenity Now!

That's it. The Big 10...to be printed and posted in a conspicuous place. The list may be added to at any time. Goals may be adjusted and restated on a daily basis. The deadlines will be kept private, but there are deadlines for these...that is important.

Since Lowes opens at 7 am, that's all for now.

Peace!

Gotta Get My Feet Wet

Starting next week, it will be time to test the waters of self-employment again for the first time in about 22 years. Yes, the early 80's saw me and and a buddy swan-dive out of the radio broadcast business (account rep/air personality/program director/scapegoat) and into the cauldron of small-town advertising agency insanity. I say "swan dive" only because it was a very graceful and well-wished exit from the radio stations I was working for. They threw us a party with beer, chips & dip, and a cake with the hopes of romancing us and our clients to spend money on their (our old) station. Cool, huh? It wasn't really that cool since all the other stations thought we were a couple of clowns destined to steal away their "grandfather" ad business. So, what is "grandfather ad business"? The short stroke: radio stations keeping clients on the air for years and years by charging them pre-historic commercial time rates...and I mean cheap spot rates of Jurassic-like old age. Now, the other radio stations would keep their cheap spot rates (we're talking $3 a spot in 1983) close to their vests, all the while quoting us the usual $12 to $15 out of their nifty brochures (reserved only for agencies, out of town clients, and the uninitiated). They thought that was justified since they had to "discount" the invoice to us 15% (the typical agency commission). But let's get back to the "grandfather" thing, or what is more commonly known as "the good old boy network". I know what you're saying, "What a couple of naive losers...weren't you aware of that before you bailed out?" Well, yes we were, but...still possessing 32 year old testosterone I was sure we could overcome any obstacles. So we got ourselves a small office, built a small recording studio for radio commercials and voice-overs, bought a small stapler and some small business cards and we were in business! Why it failed and how I didn't anitcipate what the death-blow would be will be revealed in the next post. Actually, a series of death-blows is what caused our demise...the demise of the business and our friendship. So why would I attempt it again after all these years? One of my favorite sayings, "It ain't the years honey, it's the mileage" sums it up. Who's quote is it? I'll give you a hint with another quote from him: "I don't know...I'm making this up as I go along!" More later. Peace!

Just another tick in time...?

Well, yes...New Years is just another "tick" in time. But it is a special "tick" for most of us. Last night we had a few friends over (Gene & Sue, Guy & Judy, Heather & Chris), and although it was a small (and short-lived) gathering, it gave me another opportunity to practice one of my passions: cooking for friends. I worked a good portion of the day on a couple of new recipes for Southwest Eggrolls with a Chipotle Aioli, Tortilla Soup (which turned out partucularly tasty for those who enjoy a little "bite" in their food), the obligatory Hot Wings (a slight variation on the original Anchor Bar recipe...I bake them instead of deep frying), chips and my salsa, and Apple-Caramel Bourbon Egg Rolls & Cajeta Sauce with ice cream for dessert. I made everything from scratch, cleaned up the kitchen as I went along, and all seemed to appreciate our efforts. Point of thought: Loretta and I pondered last night if we would ever have house guests if I didn't cook like I do! Oh well, it is always fun to do. Guy, Judy, & I shared a few shots of Tesoro, the others were more conservative in their embibing. To make a long story short, the soiree was short & sweet with all guests opting to retreat to their respective "cribs" for the strike of midnight. Loretta and I managed stay awake for the ball-drop as well as some neighborhood fireworks solo.

Now, it's time to take a long look at my resolution list and add a couple more...the list will remain non-public for the time being (I'm still working on it!).

I will say one thing about my resolutions, one of them involves my acquaintances hearing more from me personally this year via email, snail mail, and visits. So, Happy New Year. Serenity Now. Tolerance. Appreciation. Choices. Peace!